Sunny Days

Chapter 22

   Sunny sat on the sofa in her room, a blanket draped across her  lap. She turned the page of the novel she read, marveling in the  sophisticated societal structures of the Regency Era. Would any level of  civilization exist again? Would there come a time when survival was not  the only focus of everyone's lives? 

   She rubbed the slight curve of her stomach. Her pants still fit  but just barely. Soon she would have to start wearing the maternity  jeans Negan had found for her.         One thing at a time, Sunny. Don't think about anything but today.       There was nothing she could control but what was in this room.  Everything outside it was variabled, dangerous. It was better to stay  here where things were safe. 

   She knew now that Negan had been right. She was safe in her  ivory tower. She should be content. She did her best to ignore the  growing restlessness she felt railing against her own complacency. 

   She was exhausted and sick for the first month after she  returned. It was easy to let herself be babied after facing the  realities of the world and of the consequences of her actions. Once she  was feeling better, he had offered her the freedom she had so fiercely  fought for, but did she really want to face people? Would they judge her  if they knew who she was? Would they treat her differently? Would they  hate her? How could she ever make genuine friends here?  

   Negan walked into the room. He saw his wife snuggled into the  corner of the couch. Where he always found her. He was worried about  her. She had been quiet, submissive even, since she returned. She  greeted him with open arms every evening. Their sex life improved once  the morning sickness eased, and she was now insatiable. Everything he  thought he had wanted. But he missed her spirit. 

   She hadn't asked for a job. Hadn't argued or hinted at wanting  more than the small corner of the world he had carved out for her. There  was only one thing she asked for since coming home.

   He'd come home to find her curled up, watching a movie. She  smiled when he entered the room but it didn't reach her eyes. He knew  something was on her mind and asked her what she was thinking of. 

   "Well, I was just wondering," she said, hesitantly, "if the next  time you went to check on Sherry if you could grab my Sesame Street  DVDs?"

   "I don't think muppets are high on the list of things we need,  sugar." He could see her shoulders sag. She wasn't going to try to get  her way. She was just going to accept his judgment. "Why?" he asked.

   "I thought it would be good for the baby. For education, but  also to see what the world was like before. I loved it when I was a kid.  So much I bought it for possible future offspring. I used to think the  theme song was my song and they sang it just for me.  But it's okay, we  don't need it. Not really. There are more important things going on  right now."

   Negan sighed. "Next time I go isn't for a while, but I'll get  those DVDs for you and the baby." He gathered her up, holding her  against him. If giant fucking bird and colorful puppets made her happy,  then damnit, that's what he'd get. Anything to yank her the fuck out of  this funk. 

   A Sunny, who blindly did what she was told, was sad. There were  no locked doors, but she stayed inside. It was alarming, to say the  least. What was she still scared of? Him? The others? There had to be  more going on but any time he asked she just said she was happy where  she was. 

   He had been trying to get her out. Encouraged her to pick a job,  any job. She could do whatever she wanted. But she threw his old  argument back at him that she didn't want to deny anyone the opportunity  to earn points. And she would smile, telling him she didn't need  anything else but to be with him. But he could see the worry and anxiety  in her eyes. She wasn't happy. She was hiding.