Love And Revolution

XV

Snape didn't say anything more to that, but held her strongly, telling no matter what happened, he would always be there for her.

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Hermione must have fallen asleep for a while, but her drowsiness was broken when she felt Snape move beside her. Apparently, he had been dozing too but after his snooze broke, he was attempting to extract himself. 

"I'm sorry...I don't know what happened...I-I-" he was saying.

"It's okay...you fell asleep- it's fine..."

"I...was about to leave....it's very late..."

"No, stay," she pleaded as she sat up, holding him back, "I don't think I can be alone tonight..."

He had seated up too and they leaned back into the bedframe. He sighed, still having his arm around her, as he lightly rubbed at her upper arm. "I'm really sorry about Lee...I know you thought of him as a friend..."

She nodded, her fingers tangling with the fingers of his other hand that he had allowed to rest on her lap. Normally, he wasn't keen on talking much, but tonight he was eager on offering her comfort. "I know how you feel, I really do...I think Albus was someone whose death affected me the most...And he- well, I don't know whether I can exactly call him a friend, or anyone for that matter, but he used to look out for me...and Lee was a pretty likeable guy, he was about your age and he was quick to develop a bond. I think you appreciated him more when you realized you were not alone in this and he had been helping all along."

She quietly listened to him, their eyes meeting and holding each other's gazes for a long moment. She was even more touched when he leaned in to give a small kiss on her forehead. "You can pull yourself together, I know you will."

But she didn't pull back from him, but gazed up at his face. "We all need someone to look out for us, don't we? And in my case, I'm glad it was you."

With this, she closed the distance between their faces and pressed her lips to his, closing her eyes and basking at the sensation. He had been unable to draw away but remained frozen still, surprised at her sudden affectionate touch. After a few seconds, she slowly pulled back a minuscule inch to see his reaction, and he slowly opened his eyes to check her intention. She herself hadn't known why she did that but when she did kiss him, she realized she wanted it- she had been wanting it for some time and that she needed more. It was when she leaned in again, to take his lips back in hers that he drew away, albeit reluctantly.

"I think I should go..."

"No-"

But he had swung his legs around the bed and got to his feet, scrambling with embarrassment and rushing to get out. "I'm- I'm sorry...I shouldn't have- You're upset, and I was- that's- It's not appropriate for me to be here any longer...I- I should go..."

"No, please stay," she caught hold of the hem of his coat and kept him from leaving, getting on her knees on the bed so that she could reach him, "Severus, please...I want to be with you..."

"I can't stay...I shouldn't..." He looked helpless as Hermione held onto him, but his mind told him to leave immediately. Her mouth was dangerously close to his again, tantalizing him, inviting him to set aside all restrictions.

"Severus...I want this...I want you..." she revealed in hot whispers.

She could hear him swallow, his eyes darting to her lips. He was giving in now, his protests flimsy. "I can't- we can't do this Hermione...it's not right..."

"Then tell me to stop."  

She saw a fragile yearning in his gaze and her breath escaped in a long, quiet sigh as she was struck by the intensity of his bruising gaze. Here was that hint of vulnerability, cracked open and exposed. She didn't understand it fully, but on some level, she knew that this man had been hurt so many times and in so many different ways that he was so very much afraid. Afraid to be vulnerable in front of anyone ever again. But this broken man had been kind enough to offer her a level of contentment that was beyond his capability and that was what had endeared him to her all the more.