Clinging On (KARLNAP)

Ch 20 "Shoelaces"

"Yeah, I do remember. She would dance with you stepping on her feet and her complaining every five seconds every time you'd step on her big toe." He chuckled fondly in remembrance.

"The whole time I was trying to go to sleep I was thinking; man, Mom would have loved Sapnap." I sigh a sigh that is weighted with joy and sad nostalgia.

"You know, I could see Sapnap and her getting along. She would have loved his hair, she always liked boys with long hair, I was the only exception." He chuckled before continuing; "That date sounded great. Sapnap did a good job on it, that sounds like a date your mother would have loved for you to go on."

"Yeah, she would have loved it. She would have liked him." I sighed, still wearing a smile.

My mom would have given me the biggest hug before leaving for that date. She would have made sure I looked good and she would have calmed my nerves before going. I hate that she wasn't here to do that, and that she won't ever be able to do that. God, I miss her.

"So, have you thought about your sexuality? I felt like I should ask so that if I ever get questioned about you I should be able to answer for you. Also, is it ok if I post pictures of you and Sapnap on my Facebook?" My dad asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Oh uh- I don't really know. Sapnap is the first person I've ever really liked. I think you can say I'm gay, it seems fitting." I never really thought about it. I mean I've always been open to liking the same gender and possibly being gay, but now it's real.

"Ok, sounds good." My dad answered happily.

"Oh and what pictures of us do you have?" I'm not going to lie, I have no idea of what pictures he has.

"Here." He handed me his phone which was next to him on the bed and he continued to put his socks on.

I opened his photos and he had a picture of Sapnap and I dozed off asleep watching Death Note. He has another of Sapnap and I holding hands as we left the house. "How did you get these?"

"I have my ways." He slid one sock on.

"Ah, well, sure, post whatever."

"Cool." He says getting up after he puts his other sock on.

"Anyways, I'm going to go make sure Sapnap is awake so we can get ready for school today." I explained, I brush my hand through my hair as I sat the phone next to where my dad was previously sitting.

"Alright. Y'all get ready for school. I didn't prepare anything for breakfast today so you'll need to figure that out today, I'm sorry." He goes on as he puts his shoe on.

"Oh, don't worry, we'll get something figured out, are you leaving?"

"Yup, I think so." He says with his dad sigh.

"Alright, well, bye, love you." I told him.

"Bye, love you too, I'll be home late tonight."

"Ok, bye." I say as I walk out of his room and back into mine, where I find a sleeping Sapnap.

Not to be creepy but I wish I could sit and watch him sleep all day, his angry and tired self looked so soft and pure when he was asleep.

"Hey Sapnap, time to get up, we've got school to do." I shoved him lightly on the shoulder.

"Nooooooo.... School can kiss my ass" he said groggily through his pillow as he moved his face into the pillow.

"C'mon Sap. Don't you want to skip down the halls with me?" I joked as I took my hand and brushed it through his hair.

"I do, but we could skip down the aisles of the grocery store instead." Sapnap lifted his head out of the pillow and turned to me, his brown eyes opened barely.