It's one in the afternoon when you roll over in bed and look away from the clock, the red letters just reminding you that you still aren't ready to face the day. You're sad. You're heart is heavy. And that is okay.
You feel Ashton's weight as he climbs on the bed you share, sneaking under the covers so he can press his body to yours as he hugs you tight and gives you a big long kiss on your cheek. He snuggles his face into your neck and rests there, hoping you feel how much he cares about you. His scent wafts up into your nose while his body heat seeps to your bones, making you feel warm and in this moment, contently happy.
"Do you want to go for a drive?" Ashton mumbles in your neck, his kind smooth voice like velvet in your ears, making you smile.
"I don't know," you say, knowing the effort it would take to get ready.
"You can stay in your pj's," he offers, knowing you are thinking about the grueling process of standing in the shower, and washing your hair, and then picking out clothes and getting into them and blah blah blah. Let's not even go there.
You giggle though, appreciating his effort, as he really seems to want this, his heart heavy when yours is and his love for you driving him to help you in anyway he can. You roll to your back and stare up into his hazel eyes, a golden caramel color in the afternoon glow through the closed curtains. He smiles gently as his long but tender fingers comb through your hair, letting you take the time to ponder your decision because he knows that sometimes you just need to sulk. And he will join you in that, too.
His eyes roam your face, taking in the features, and marks you count as flaws, that he loves dearly while you decide to accept his invitation. You know that he will make you feel joy because he always has been a light to your life, even in complete darkness. You smile back at him and his mouth widens as he grins, flashing his teeth with admiration, grateful to make you smile.
"Where are we going?" you ask, lifting your hand to brush his curly hair off his forehead, making his eyes flutter at your touch.
"I haven't decided yet," he smiles sheepishly before he kisses your wrist as you glide your hand down his face, feeling his features that make up his pretty face, his warmth keeping you grounded. "I'll know once you're ready though."
"Okay," you beam at him, his adorable face making your heart thump.
His lips meet yours, his excitement radiating through but he stays collected, not wanting to overwhelm you, but you smile anyway, his cheerful happy-go-lucky one of the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place. He pulls away and slides out of the covers, throwing them off of you as you stretch and you release a giggle at his playful demeanor. He giggles his iconic Ashton giggle before he slinks out of the room, being his silly self before he gives you privacy to get ready.
The air feels lighter after his presence, his beautiful soul always able to brighten the heaviest of places as you stare at the door, missing him. Actually looking forward to being with him and letting him lift your spirits. You change into a comfortable outfit and throw our hair up, not bothered too much by your appearance since you know he accepts any form of you and head downstairs to find him.
You find him in the kitchen laughing with Calum, their goofy banter always entertaining to witness.
"No, no, no," Ashton shakes his head at Calum, while he waves a finger.
"Yes, yes, yes," Calum mocks him, his eyes crinkling up into slits as he chuckles, unable to keep it together when Ashton gets silly.
"I did not," Ashton says giggles with sass.
"You so did," Calum bursts into laughter, fed up with his ridiculous friend.
"I don't know what you guys are talking about," you interject as they look at you, "But Calum's right, Ashton, you did."
Ashton's jaw drops as Calum hunches over in hysterics; his adorable murmured laugh echoing out into the kitchen, making you smile and laugh too, while Ash approaches you with a playful pout, "Fine take his side. Are you ready?"
"Mmmhmm," you nod as Ash's arm wraps around your waist to lead you to the garage.
"Wait!" Calum hops up and goes to the pantry, returning with your favorite snack, "You need to eat. Have a good time."
You smile wide you take the snack, feeling blessed that you are loved by so many wonderful people who accept you just the way you are.
Ashton gets your door and shuts it once you are seated before he walks around to the driver's side to get in and start the car. He gets on the highway, playing a playlist you made together of all the favorite songs you share and mostly yours because he loves to watch you sing and dance along. His hand rests on your thigh as the wind blows yours hair about gently, relaxing you before he slows to exit and takes the scenic back roads that he knows you love to view.
You roll down the window all the way as he cruises, the crisp air lightly hitting your face and filling your lungs with newness as he grabs your hand. He brings it to his lips and keeps it there, letting you know he is there and he loves you. Ready when you are.
A smile curves on your lips as you watch the world pass by, feeling your heart ease up as his lips brush the delicate skin atop your hand. You breath in deeply, allowing yourself to still feel the emptiness that you can't control but letting the gratitude of his love and acceptance fills you. His intention never to change you or to make you feel a certain way, just true purpose to help you remember that you are not alone and never will be.
He pulls over to an outlook you cherish, parking the car in the center of the view while he kisses your hand before he releases it, a caring smile on his face as he gets out to open your door. You take his hand he holds out to you and he pulls you to your feet, kissing your temple as you wrap your arms around his waist and hug him. The car door shut behind you and you look up at his handsome face, his dimples still visible as he smiles softly, staring into your eyes with kindhearted affection.
His lips touch your forehead before he takes a step back, guiding you to the front of the car and helping you up. You lay back on the windshield and he climbs up next to you, pulling you into his chest as he hugs you tight. You lay there in his arms as you stare at your favorite view provided by nature, letting the colors and smells revive your brokenness. He stays quiet, knowing words are never enough, but shows you he cares through his healing and nurturing touch.
He rests his cheek on your head embracing you fully as he fingers brush through your hair, relishing in this closeness with you as you do the same. You close your eyes and hold him back; resting your ear over his good heart while you let him cherish you. No matter your mood, no matter your circumstance, he has always proved that you can find safety and solace here in his arms.
The air becomes chilled so he encourages you to agree to leave, compromising to continue on driving, taking the long way home, so you can continue to enjoy the outdoors and have time outside the bedroom. He sings along to the your shared playlist, making your tummy flutter and lips smile, his voice always a gratifying vice to your soul. He drives until dark and then takes you home for a light dinner, knowing your not very hungry, but wants you nourished nonetheless.
You watch him wash the dishes, quietly enjoying the mundane as he hums to a song from your playlist that you listened to several times during the drive. He sways his hips as he whistles, the familiar song clearly taking over his mind and you smile, feeling your heart melt and the warm feeling of bliss leaks out, taking over your chest and existence. The feeling becomes delightfully overwhelming and your eyes smart as you appreciate the joy he brings to your life.
He dries the last bowl and places it in the cupboard before he turns to you, seeing the happiness in your face and his dimples sink in deep as you watch his eyes glisten. His smile makes your tummy flip as he leans on the counter and reaches out to take your hand, in love with your beautiful smile. His chin rests into his other hand as he stares at you with pride, grateful you are returning to a state of normalcy so you can find joy again.
You smile, true and genuine as your heart pounds happily, his handsome face your anchor, grounding you back into gladness and giving you reassurance that he will be there to love you next time.
