Control my anger || Clexa AU

~ Chapter 22 ~

Lexa's POV

"Come on, Clarke. We're gonna be late."

Clarke sighed. "Let's just have this over with." And so she put on the helmet and finally took the seat behind me, on my motorcycle.

As always, as soon as I started the rover, Clarke tangled her hands around my waist. I wondered if she was ever going to change about my motorcycle. Every time she realized that she had to get on it, she always tried not to. After all this time, she could've even learned how to drive it herself.

As I predicted, we were late. We had to practically run through all corridors to get on our biology class. Pike was already there. When we opened the door, he stopped talking and just stared at us. I didn't know what to do, so I just said, "sorry we're late," and then we quickly, without even looking at him, walked to our desk.

When I got the notebook and a pen out of my backpack and I finally looked up at the teacher, I saw him smiling peacefully at me, before restarting the lesson.

I frowned, but didn't question.

***

"I hate the fact that we have to hide..." Clarke whispered, as the last person left the bathroom we were currently in. She moved slightly closer, dangerously watching my lips.

I groaned. "I hate it too..." I gave up avoiding her look and I started gazing at her plump, big, pink...

The bell startled me and I immediately jumped away. Clarke sighed and looked down.

We walked out of the toilet together, I wanted to hold her hand so badly. Just that, the smallest type of touch, I wanted it so badly.

But then someone, I was sure on purpose, pushed me, in the way that I stumbled into Clarke, almost knocking her off feet. I caught her wrist in the last moment.

"You alright?" I asked, still holding on to her. She just nodded and mouthed 'yeah'. "Good," I only said, and then I let go of her, turning to the person that caused it.

I was aware of my heart beat quickening with every second. I looked up, as the guy was much taller, behind him stood another one, not much shorter than him. I knew who that was, Adam Evans. He always had some kind of problem with me, I never understood that.

"Apologize," I said, coldly, but he just smirked and chuckled, sarcastically looking at his friend, Mark. "Apologize, Adam, or I'll make you."

"You might be able to take down other guys, but I'm at least twice your size, you don't stand a chance, Woods," he still had this pathetic smile on. I clenched my fists.

"Lexa..." I heard from behind me and I soon felt a familiar hand trying to unclench my fist. But I could already feel my nails ramming into my palms. "Come on, there is no point. He is not worth it," she just whispered to me. I couldn't even bring myself to look at her at that moment.

"Since when some little girlfriend is telling you what to do Lexa?"

"What is your problem?"

"You are my problem. Ever since you brought down my reputation," he said through gritted teeth, taking step closer. My one hand immediately went around Clarke, trying to push her away from him, to keep her out of it. He noticed that too quickly and started laughing.

"Protecting your little faggot girlfriend, I see."

I didn't know if I should either laugh or be mad. "Leave Clarke out of it," I only said.

"Clarke... What a nice name... as Clarke Griffin?"

I clenched my jaw.

"Lexa, let's just go. They won't have the courage to start a fight, right next to principal's office. And they won't have the courage to follow us out, as all the way to parking are classes with big, great view windows. Let's go," Clarke finally grabbed my hand and started dragging me out. I was so surprised I just followed her.

"Faggot!" I only heard Adam scream last one time.

"Idiot..." I heard Clarke whisper before we left the building.

Even though we were outside already, she still kept dragging me, until we finally got to my motorcycle. She turned around and smiled.

Her hand was still in mine, she started soothing it.

"What you did there--" I started.

"That was amazing--"

"Dangerous, stupid, and so unnecessary," I started shaking my head, taking a step back from her. I looked at her and saw hurt in her eyes. "Clarke, first of, I can protect you perfectly, you know? But second, more importantly, of-- this is my fault, this is because of me. I'm sorry." This is exactly why I wanted to hide. Not because of homophobic slurs, I couldn't care less about those, but because of my past, my reputation. I could handle this and how people treated me, but I knew well that it would eat Clarke alive. She is too pure for this.

"This is not your fau--"

"Let's just go," I interrupted her, already getting on the machine.

***

When I dropped her off under her house, she was scared for me, I could see it. We stood under her house, me still sitting, Clarke already up. I felt her eyes on me, but I was looking somewhere else, I was avoiding her.

Until she took my face and forced me to look at her. "Aren't you coming in?"

I tried smiling, but I could feel how sad it actually looked. "Nah. I gotta go."

"Please," she took my hands in hers, before continuing, "don't do anything stupid."

I looked into her beautiful blue eyes, calmlingly. She was worried. Worried about me.

I took her face in one hand, gently tracing her cheek with my thumb. "Don't worry, darling."

And with that I drove away.

That was meant to be the last physical touch with Clarke in some long time...