I loved you

Before my life was made better

  Waking up everyday was a curse. I honestly hated it there I hated everything about it. For starters I lived in the ghetto, in a junk ass trailer with drugies as my neighbors. I never went a day without hearing someone get shot I was four years old for god's sake. I wanted to get out and kill myself at that age. My dad was abusive and always acting as if we didn't have feelings. There was only two people that made me happy in those hard times, my sister and a cute boy that i would meet at family gatherings. His name was Kim Namjoon he made me happy. He made me feel alive again at such a young age.

   I first met him at my uncle's carne asada. The first day i saw him he couldn't keep his eyes off of me. Although we were four years old we could tell we liked eachother and our friendship would last. I over heard him talking to his older cousin "You think that girl is pretty huh?"  "yes" he answered softly "C'mon my boy don't be a pussy go talk to her" his cousin responds pushing him towards me. He nervously came up to me i mean he was four years old that was the first time he has ever talked to a pretty girl. He nervously spoke to me in his broken spanish "h-hello" "Hii" I responded quite excited to talk to another child. We talked for a while until my drunk dad pulled me away yelling at me for talking to a little boy. I never even got his name until the next time we talked.

     The next time I talked to him was a few months later, we were both five years old. It was my fifth birthday party. I got ready a nice purple dress with my hair half up half down. I walk outside, where the party was and I was greeted with him. He was staring at me, he remembers about me i know it. My dad pulls me inside "What is on your lips?" he says quite angry "it's chapstick dad" I respond quietly and he lets me go back outside. I go up to the cute boy and hug him since i missed talking to him, he was my only friend. After a while we learn eachothers names and i overhear Namjoon's dad and my own discussing about me and him "Your daughter is meant for my son. She will grow up and be his girlfriend." My dad only laughs and changes the topic.