Immaculate

Talking it out

"North, Ssssh!" I hissed at him. He blew out his breath and sank onto the end of the bed, but I was frozen to the spot. I didn't know how to fix this.

"I don't regret doing that with you," he said quietly. "I just regret where we were and how I went about it. I was like a fucking caveman." He shook his head and fisted his hands on the bed beside him.

I went to him and sank onto my knees in front of him and gripped his hands on his knees.

"North, listen to me, please. I don't regret anything. I don't regret what we did or where we did it. I was with you, North and that's all I need to make it perfect. I was in heaven, North. You made me feel things that I can't even describe and I was so worried that it had done nothing for you."

"Couldn't you tell?" he whispered. "I haven't come that hard for ages and I was embarrassed and then I realised what we'd done. Fucking hell, Sang, Uncle could have come back, anyone could have seen us. I didn't treat you with respect, Sang, I acted as if you were a...." he stopped as I rose up slightly and gripped his face.

"You did treat me with respect, North. You gave me something that I will never forget."

"But it was in a fucking truck, Sang!" he choked out and I saw the guilt in his eyes clearly.

"North! It could have been in a closet at school, it could have been in the attic in my house, or at the beach, or on the moon! I love you, North. I love you so much that no matter where we were I will never regret it, never, because it was with you, it was perfect. It was special."

"How the fuck did I end up with you?" he whispered and dragged me forwards to kiss me. It was desperate and sloppy, but it wasn't sexual. He pulled me up onto his lap and buried his head in my chest. I wrapped my arms around him as best as I could and held on.

"Are you sure you don't regret where we were?" His voice was muffled and I could still hear the guilt.

"North, you touch me and I forget where we are. You kiss me and I can't even think straight. But I will never regret where we were. I was worried because I knew how it had made me feel and I wanted you to feel the same."

"Oh, I did," he grunted. "See, thing is, Sang, you get off and it's beautiful. I get off and it's messy as all hell."

I blushed at his words but couldn't help the giggle that left my mouth.

He lifted his head and his eyes were clear again. The guilt fading, although I realised he may always regret where it happened. I couldn't regret anything and I would take however long it took to make him see that I would always cherish it in my heart.

"You're not ready yet, but when I take you all the way, I promise it will not be in the front or back seat of my truck. It will be somewhere special, somewhere beautiful and I will take my time loving you," he whispered.

"I have to admit that I don't want our first time to be in a truck," I said quietly. "But I will never regret what we did tonight. I just wish you wouldn't either." I linked my arms around his neck and kissed him quickly on his lips. He drew me back again and kissed me more deeply.

"I was so worried that you'd hate me," he admitted. "You're so special that every moment like that should be special too."

"It was!" I said hotly, getting impatient with him now. "Stop beating yourself up over it."

He closed his eyes and blew his breath out on a sigh and then he was looking at me again and I could see that maybe I was getting through to him.

"Closet eh?" he teased me. "I might be able to manage most of those places with you, but the moon is going to be a tricky one."