Ferra

V Reoccurring Fears

Author's note: Okay so, this chapter is kind of cringe but Imma put it out anyways

Lyra

I'm kind of freaking out right now. We're getting closer and closer to Ferra, but I'm getting farther and farther from my family. I know I haven't been away from them for long, but I feel like I'm abandoning them. I'm leaving behind a family that took me in, raised me, loved me and supported me over the years to go and see the family that abandoned me. What sense does that make? I've been carrying this guilt on my chest this whole time, and the farther we go, the heavier it gets. I talked to my mother before leaving. I was hoping that she'd talk me out of it or obey me from going, but she did the opposite. Surprisingly, she encouraged me to go. I didn't tell my brother Sam, because I didn't want to get him involved. He probably wouldn't understand anyway.

Leaving behind my family is not what I have to worry about right now. I can't swim. My mom couldn't afford swimming lessons for me so I never took them. Two summers ago, Adira, Kaden and I went to Mateo's cottage. While we were there, Adira gave me swimming lessons. She didn't have the time to teach me everything. I learned the basics but didn't have enough time to perfect it. And I haven't swum since.

"What are we doing just standing here? Let's go," Mateo says before diving in the pool after Adira. Welp. It looks like I'm going to have to put them swimming skills to the test. I cross my arms and inspect the pool, trying to see how deep it goes.

"Hey, you okay?" Kaden asks me. I must be displaying my worries on my face.

"Yeah I'm fine," I lie.

"We both know that was a lie," Kaden catches my lie. "What's troubling you?"

"The pool looks deep and you know...I'm not the strongest swimmer," I confess, my eyes locked with the ground.

"Don't worry, I'll go with you and I'll be right by your side the whole time. From what I've observed, once you jump in, gravity will do its job and pull you down which is good. But you're still gonna have to swim downwards because Earth's gravitational pull slows down in water and you don't want to be without air for long. So the faster you swim, the faster you'll get to the other side and can breathe again. The challenge is gonna be the resistance from your clothes and the change of the direction of gravity. So that means that you'll go from feeling weightless to having a slight weight atop of you," Kaden finishes giving me his analysis of the portal.

"Although, I've never been through a portal so it-"

"Okay, thanks Kaden," I say cutting him off before he keeps on rambling. I take a deep breath trying to calm down my nerves. Kaden's right, there's nothing for me to worry about. Except that Kaden will swim faster than me and he'll reach the surface and I'll be struggling to reach the end. Kaden wouldn't know that I'm struggling because I can't make noise underwater. So then I'll drown. Or my foot will get caught in between some rocks and I'll lose my air and drown. Or I'll-

"Before you think about all the reasons you could die, let's go," Kaden says, pulling on my arm.

"Wait! Let me just calm down first," I shake off his hand.

"You look more scared than before. You're getting panickier by the second."

"I'm not panicking!" I shout at Kaden and he raises an eyebrow in my direction.

"I'm not panicking," I say in a much calmer voice trying to convince Kaden.

"Everything will be fine. Now come on, don't let me throw you in."

"Yeah right. You can't throw me in."

"Bet," Kaden says, coming closer towards me. I back away from him.