A Court of Lies and Secrets | ACOTAR fanfic [Girl x Girl]

Cauldron's Child

~Alirra~

I've officially lost count of how many days have passed. It honestly feels like months at this point and for some reason a couple of days is having such a draining effect on me. At any moment I can just pass out and that'll be it- I probably won't wake up again. Ginerva will make whatever move she plans on- because so far it's becoming more and more obvious that she needs me completely out of it for whatever's next.

I've counted every stone on every wall and the floor and ceiling over and over. Ginerva spending most of her time away from me than with and I've become quite accustomed to the loneliness and the fear of it all that if I'm honest, it's all blurred into one line— one feeling, numb.

Any time my eyes try to close I just think of Renae and the effort she is no doubt putting into finding me- I think of whatever adventures she's on and what beasts she's battling. But then the excitement of it all dies down and Ginerva enjoys to remind me that if they cared as much as I think, they would've found me already. That ruins the mood a little.

"That's it, give in to the pull of sleep..." I hear her voice whisper in my ear and it takes a moment to realise the room isn't usually this dark because my eyes have adjusted by now... I've closed my eyes. I reopen them and find her in her usual crouched position which she's had to retort to recently as my own body won't even move from this foetal position. The strength of each muscle drained long ago.

"Fuck... off.." I spit through my teeth. The words coming out exasperated as if we've been battling for the past few days non-stop.

I swear I feel her dark powers, her shadows clinging to my muscles and bones- pulling them further toward exhaustion. I know she has some sort of manipulative involvement in this. One of the reasons why I know she wants me passed out.

"I know what you want.." I hiss each word with fatiguing effort.

"You don't have a clue what I want with you." She mutters. How she manages to have the strength to hold herself in that crouched position for so long- I'll never know. Even on a good day, my tendency for clumsy incidents would've had me falling moments ago.

"I know.. you need me.. asleep." I want to be more specific and let her know the depth of how much I do know and prove her wrong. But she knows what I mean enough to understand the details. She rolls her eyes in an 'oh what the hell, I give up' kind of manner.

"Yes. Alirra, darling, I do need you to sleep. So if you could hurry- the fuck- up, that would be nice." She finishes with a sickly sweet smile and I would sneer in her face if I had any energy to do so.

"I will never-" She replaces the smile with another look- 'yeah right!'

"I'm not going to lie to you," I give her a snort and either she didn't hear the pathetic noise or she ignores it, "Alirra, you've lasted longer than I thought." I won't give up. I will hold onto every slice of energy I have. I'll stop speaking if it reserves enough energy, just so I don't give in. Now I know for sure that she's waiting for me to give in, I'm even more determined to power through and wait for someone- anyone to help me escape this windowless room.

"We both know you won't last any longer so don't even bother claiming you'll last until someone arrives. That hope should've died days ago."

"Tough." Is all I say. That one word tells her enough. I won't give in. I won't lose hope. Someone will save me- Renae will save me.

"At least.. tell me what-" I'm cut off my loss of breath- too much strain. But she gets the question and rolls her eyes- no. What do you want with me?

"I won't... be here.. long enough-" to tell anyone. Or escape.

She stands and I think she might winnow away once again but she paces a few times, contemplating the pros and cons. But eventually she falls back into her previous position and grabs ahold of my lower face. Satisfied with the dark rings and strained creases and reddening eyes that she agrees. She actually agrees! It's enough to make me want to do a celebration dance- but again, no energy.

"I'm sure you've heard the story of Renae's first kiss plenty of times. Her version and Iagan's no doubt. But after that, after she left," after you banished your own daughter, "Iagan and I got pregnant with a little baby girl." Any part of me not paying attention has finally been slapped awake and brought to life at the mention of this. Does Renae know? Where is this baby? I want to ask so many things and spill out so many sarcastic comments (because anything she does to me now can't make me feel any more worse) but I can't.

"Neither know about each other and quite frankly I'd like to leave it that way." She answer's one of my questions. Her jaw moves back and forth in irritation. She doesn't want Renae's attraction to females to 'rub off' on her sister. She doesn't need to say it. I know how this closed-minded monster thinks. I never truly believed someone could behave this way ; I've been proved wrong.

"Not long ago, she became sick- some incident with Hybern fugitives," she shakes her head dismissively, deeming it unimportant, "it only got worse and worse and no matter what... treatment methods.. we tried, nothing changed or helped. But then one day, we met with a human-loving wench who claimed she had a child. A powerful being made by the Cauldron itself. We didn't believe her at first, of course, but she soon proved us wrong.

"This child of hers had no idea of their power or frankly their background. I almost killed the female after she said she had no idea where her child was now. The false hope she instilled and the efforts she went through to make us believe- and she let us down. I had my hand around her neck, ready to snap it or rip it from her shoulders, until she claimed her friend (a seer) had said the child would come into our lives once reunited with our daughter.

"At first I thought the riddle meant our youngest and spent sleepless nights wondering about what she meant. Until it hit me like a stallion- Renae." I'm entirely engrossed in this story. Grasping at straws that might free me– until I remind myself not to get too wishful. This room has no exits and I am in no shape to winnow even if I could get these manacles off– which I immediately learned were to prevent winnowing as well as attacking the Queen.

"I went back to the female as soon as I figured out that the riddle wasn't a riddle at all- quite simple actually- and demanded more information from her seer. I found out more about the Cauldron's child and when I'll meet her and how she'll be of help," she tilts her head back and looks down her nose- once again assessing whether or not to continue, whether she's gone far enough, then, "this child will be a vessel for my daughter. A new body. Healthy and powerful enough to survive the transition." My brows involuntarily pinch together in pure confusion. She plans on transferring her daughter into another person. Is that even possible? Even if it is, it isn't morally right? But I guess the female who tortures people like her daughter, kills humans and kidnaps innocent healers doesn't care about what's moral.

"What will happen to the other child?" A shrug. But her eyes glisten enough to let me know what she's thinking, 'it won't be good'.

"I never thought to ask... I guess you and I will find out." I open my mouth to question until the powerful blow of her words finally sink in.

She wants me. I am the vessel. She wants to take my body for her daughter.

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