epiphanot

❛ NIGHTMARES

~O~

The moment the feeling of helplessness shrouds him, Rody knows it's a nightmare.

He's had his fair share of nightmares and all kinds of bad dreams throughout his life. Taking care of two younger siblings alone isn't easy to say the least. It comes with not only the daytime labour to make sure they always have their needs fulfilled and are always happy and smiling, but also the terrors, the worries and the stress. Lala doesn't like big animals, any big dog is enough to make her cry for hours and he has to be there to calm her down, to make her smile again, to protect her. His brother on the other hand is often scared of being alone or being in the dark. So, he takes his hand and rubs his back, assuring him that he's there with him and he'll never leave him. A hug from him is always enough to shoo away their fears. 

That of course never worked in his nightmares.

They follow the same pattern; Rody, alone, in the dark, unable to move, unable to see. Then came the terrified cries and screams of his young siblings.

He can't help them, he can't hold them, he can't tell them it's okay. 

He can't protect them like their parents protected him—

And so, he suffers in his nightmares. He knows it's false, he knows none of that is true. Rody knows he will find both of them sleeping soundly right beside him, safe and warm. Unlike most people who tend to fight against these horrors, who wake themselves up trying to reach their loved ones, Rody doesn't. There's simply no need to. He didn't always try to ignore it. (Read: Suffer in silence) When he was younger, he did fight it. But the recurring pattern, the same dreams, the way he only ever had nightmares… It all just left him like this. He's so used to them, he doesn't even flinch in his sleep. His nightmares were always centered around his family, what's left of it and what's gone. Rody never had any friends to care enough about for them to be a part of his worries. If he  wakes up from one, he doesn't go back to sleep. Somehow he always feels Pino's presence beside him, even in his sleep. He will never say it out loud but Pino's presence is always comforting. Perhaps, that bird is what helps him be patient in his nightmares.

Pino, of course, continues to be a total jerk.

Shitty bird always just goes and wakes up his siblings, telling them Rody's having a nightmare.

Why does he have this quirk again?

Rody does not want to see concern on their faces. Not for him. Waking those two up in the middle of the night so they can cry over their older brother? He might as well just choke Pino to half death — would that kill him too? The brown haired boy will say he welcomes death with open arms but he can't leave his siblings behind on their own. He can't die. He still needs to protect them, to raise them. Roro can't calm down Lala when she's scared. Lala can't help Roro when he feels lonely and forgotten. That's why Rody can't die just yet. He needs to be there.

With a sudden jolt he realizes he isn't with Lala and Roro.

Fuck.

He's currently a runaway accomplice of a mass murderer. He knows Izuku was just framed but it really only takes a day with the boy to know he definitely can commit mass murder… Or maybe that's just him and his ability to read people.

"Run!!" A sudden yell interrupts his inner monologues, moving his attention to the ongoing nightmare. Like always, Rody doesn't see anything. He doesn't know what's happening. He doesn't know what to run away from. "P-Please…! You need to leave!" The voice addresses him again. It feels so distant, yet so close. He doesn't know to whom this voice belongs, but a part of him — the one that knows it's just a nightmare, tells him that he knows who's voice this is. Rody can't put a finger on it nonetheless. He can't because he doesn't try to. He knows it's neither Lala nor Roro. He doesn't feel Pino's presence nearby like he always does.