Because You Love Me

5. Dead and Gone

The wheels in his mind began turning.  There was only one way Voldemort could have known where James and Lily were.  His blood boiled inside his veins.  Peter had been their secret keeper.  Only he could have told him.  But he was their friend, wasn't he?  They had all been together for so many years.  Why would he sell them out to Voldemort?

Sirius clenched his fists together.  Seeing nothing but red, he flew down the stairs out of the house.  He was so consumed with his thirst for vengeance now that he forgot all about the baby he left all alone in the darkness of the nursery with nothing but the flashes of lightning to keep him company.

~ * ~

The storm had been brewing for a while.  Thunder rumbled angrily across the sky as he walked beneath the black clouds hanging above him.  Accompanying the noise, were bright flashes of lightning that were getting more and more frequent by the second.

Severus's heart was thumping in his chest as he cut through the dark passageway.  Rumors had flooded Spinner's End of something strange and mysterious happening in Godric's Hollow.  He knew Voldemort had been searching tirelessly for the Potters because he had gone to great lengths to keep him from finding them.  He kept Dumbledore informed on his master's whereabouts and plans and he kept Voldemort informed on Dumbledore for the most part.  He left out all of the essential information, giving him just enough to stay satisfied with his service.  He wasn't sure that being a double agent was something he could keep up, but he was certainly willing to try.  Especially if it would help him keep Lily safe.  He stopped suddenly in the middle of the street. His heart sank.  He could see the house.  The Order's enchantments were gone.

Severus walked calmly toward it, trying his best to keep his emotions in check.  He didn't want to lose it in case he needed concentration.  Voldemort might still be inside.  He could only imagine what he might do to the baby when he killed him.  He spoke so highly of his other achievements and trophies.  A chill ran down his spine.  He didn't even want to think about it.  

He climbed the stairs and stepped up onto the porch, the anticipation heightening with every step he took.  The place looked like a disaster area.  There were chips of wood everywhere.  He followed the path of destruction all the way up the stairs.  There he found James's body, seemingly discarded only because he stood in the path of Voldemort's true target.  

Severus kept his eyes straight forward.  There was only one person he was looking for.  His heart caught in his throat as he laid his eyes on a pile of flaming red hair.  It was a bit darker than he remembered Lily's being, which meant that it was Alaina.  He hurried to the room before him, but he didn't go to Alaina when he got inside.  The room was a mess.  The biggest part of the fighting looked like it had taken place in the nursery.  He stopped to look at the gaping hole now in the roof... and that is when he saw her.

Lily was lying on the floor no more than a foot from where he had stopped.  Severus felt like he couldn't catch his breath.  He simply dropped to his knees on the floor.

"No!" he cried.  "Oh, Lily!"

Tears streamed down his face.  He picked her up gently and held her there in his arms, squeezing tightly.  His face distorted in pain.  He couldn't keep the howl of agony inside any longer.  He let it fly, tears hitting Lily's pale face.  When he started sobbing, that made Harry cry out, but Severus didn't seem to notice him.  He was too busy noticing his heart breaking into a million pieces to pay attention to anything else.  

"He said he would spare you," he blubbered.  "He said he-"

Another wail escaped from his lungs.  He didn't know if he had ever felt such grief in his life.  Was it possible for the pieces of your heart to break as well?  Because Severus felt like it shattered when he first saw her, and now as he held her there in his arms, whatever was left of his heart was breaking into even tinier pieces.  He was devastated.  He held her a moment longer and then laid her gently back on the floor the way he had found her.  He had to pull himself together.  He hadn't lost it like that since his days at Hogwarts, the day he had called Lily a Mudblood.  He gulped back more tears and turned around.

The sight of Harry standing there in the crib in front of him was unsettling.  He hadn't expected him to be there.  He wasn't sure of what to do.  Should he leave him there with the rest of his family?  Or should he take him to Dumbledore?  He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.  He couldn't think straight.  His grief was clouding his judgement.  He took a deep breath.  He should probably take the baby with him.  But then again, what if one of Potter's friends came looking for him?  He stared at the jagged lightning shaped scar on the baby's forehead.  Severus frowned.  He hadn't noticed that before.  He leaned down close to him.  He had been touched by dark magic.  That much was certain.  Had Voldemort tried to kill him?  And if so, why did he fail?  Where was he now?

Severus looked around the room, foolishly thinking there might be some clue as to what had happened, but there wasn't.  There wasn't one trace Voldemort had even been there other than James, Lily, and Alaina's bodies.  A sudden thought hit him.  Alaina!  He hadn't even checked to make sure if she was dead or not.

He walked over to her body and knelled down beside of her.  He saw the pool of blood beside of her mouth.  He felt like he already knew the answer.  He used his index and middle fingers to feel for a pulse around her neck.  She felt like ice just like Lily had.  That's why when he felt a faint heart beat beneath his fingers, he jerked them back.  His eyes widened.  Alaina was alive.

"Alaina?" Severus whispered.  He moved her hair away from her ear so it wouldn't hinder her hearing.  She was lying facing the left side of the wall, so that was the only ear she could hear out of at the moment.  The other was pressed to the floor.  "Alaina, if you can hear me, please respond.  Let me know you're okay."

He watched her intensely, searching for some kind of sign, but she didn't move.  He sighed.  Maybe he had just wanted to feel a pulse so badly that he imagined it.  He tried again.  And there was no mistaking it this time.  There was definitely a pulse.  He studied her for a moment.  Her wand was in her hand.  He glanced back at the entrance way, trying to figure out exactly what had happened.  She must have tried to bar the door and was blasted out of the way.

"Alaina!" he said louder.

Exasperated, Severus got to his feet.  He stooped back down and gathered Alaina into his arms carefully.  He didn't want to move her too much in case anything was broken.  He couldn't get help at this late hour and he didn't want to just leave her there to die.  He took one last look at Harry.  The small baby was reaching for him, opening and closing his hands, and crying.  A lump formed in his throat.  What kind of awful person would he be if he didn't take him too?  He sighed deeply.

"I'll come back for you, little one," he told him.

With this settled in is mind, he got a good grip on Alaina and disapparated.  He was only gone a few minutes.  He popped back in the nursery and reluctantly picked Harry up from his crib.  Even as small as he was, he looked like James.  Severus wrinkled his nose.  He only hoped he was nothing like him.  He wrapped his arms around Harry tightly.

Harry gazed up at him curiously.  That's when Severus noticed for the first time, while he may look like his father, he had his mother's gorgeous emerald green eyes.  He turned away from him, trying not to cry, as he disapparated, Harry secure in his arms.