Fuck you. I can't breathe between my sobs. I need you back like the heart in my chest. Cliches are used so often cause they're accurate. I'm in a dedicated relationship and all I can think about is you. I check every moment to see if you saw my message. I shouldn't have sent it. I had to. I regret it. All I want is your abuse. Your ignorance. Your lack of love. I want your kisses and your scent in my nose. I wanna wear your stupid fucking hoodie that you took back. I wanna be back in that innertube in the sun with my head on your chest watching the airplanes. I wanna be back on the playground with your arms around me. Saying in my ear how you love me. I wanna be sitting between your legs under the fucking fireworks and kissing your fucking lips cause you were my everything but you WOULDN'T FUCKING FIGHT FOR ME AND IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD. I miss you. I wanna be in the back seat of the truck laying in your lap. I want you showering me with kisses and leave me wanting more. I never knew the last one would be the last and how bad I would want more. These thoughts are wrong though. These thoughts are impure simply because I'm in a relationship with not you. He treats me right. And misses me when I'm gone and tells me he loves me and proves it. He calls me princess and treats me like one and you never gave me that and here I am wanting you. Willing to give it all. Why won't you love me like those other girls. I've gave you so much more than them. You've made me cry more than anyone else ever. And I hate myself for telling my friend I thought you were cute. I hate myself for falling so hard and trying so hard. I hate myself for believing you when you said all that bullshit. I hate myself for waiting for your text back. You won't. You don't care. Why would you stick up for them and not me. Why would you treat me like this. You took advantage of my lack of knowledge on your kind. The kind that breaks hearts and kills your soul. You broke me and I let you and I will never forgive you. Unless of course you ask. In which case I'll do anything.
