gotta watch you walk in the room baby, gotta watch you walk out

Chapter Ten

Tin had been back in Bangkok for nearly a week when he finally snapped out of the funk he'd been wallowing in. He'd cried off work citing a fever, when, in reality, it was the opposite, he felt cold. Numb. Still, he was the boss and he could do what he liked. Even if he had stolen the company from his brother's hands.

He showered, made himself something to eat, and sat down in front of his laptop. Pulling up his email he typed non-stop, not bothering to pause to edit, and hit send before he could talk himself out of it. Let Can digest the truth and choke himself on it. He might not love Tin, hell, given what he'd said the last time they met, he didn't even like him unless he was fucking him. Still, Tin wasn't going to let that bullshit he believed about him go unchallenged. He spewed it all out in that email and once he'd sent it, he shoved it into a box inside his head and locked it away.

He'd been fool enough already to ever believe anyone would want him for him. Can didn't want his money, nor his 'fame' but he had wanted to fuck him. Tin had just been deluded when he'd started to believe it could be something more. He really was unloveable.

The day after sending the email he went back to the office as though nothing had happened. He was not going to let this fester, he was not.

-o-

After Tin's departure Can threw himself into work, restarted his daily runs and spent his spare time exploring more of London. When he was lucky enough to get two days off in a row his colleague, now friend, Lizzy persuaded him to let her and Eoin take him on a mini tour outside of London whereby he visited Stonehenge, Glastonbury Abbey and Tor and Bath. They stayed two nights in an empty cottage on a farm belonging to one of Willow's many actor friends in a small village in Somerset. It was there that he and Lizzy cooked up the plan to go into partnership and open the café in Bangkok together.

Before he knew it, it was almost time to return to Bangkok. Can worked his final shift at Edge and went out with all his colleagues afterwards, ending up in a nightclub that, according to some of his colleagues, was full of celebrities. Can had no idea who any of the people were!

He flew home two days later with plans for when Lizzy and Eoin would fly out and taking with him contact details of several of his work friends and a promise to stay in touch with Willow.

The first thing he did when he arrived home, was catch up with his housemates. They only had a few months left living at the flat before Good's uncle moved back from Europe and wanted his home back so they would be going their separate ways after that. It would be the end of an era.

It was so good to see everyone that Can was able to put Tin from his mind for a while. A very short while, because as soon as he was alone in his room, he could barely think of anything else. It had been easier back in England as he had been able to keep himself distracted and able to pretend that he hadn't lied to Tin's face when he'd told him he didn't love him. He told himself it wasn't a full-blooded lie, because the person he'd fallen in love with wasn't the who he'd come to believe Tin was.

Can had long since put aside Tul's claims. Easy. He knew families could be complicated, and he'd been getting to know Tin better than he'd ever known Tul, but that version of Tin had not been real, not when he was someone who could break apart a couple who loved one another like Ae and Pete. Unforgivable, and not the actions of someone Can could love.

He just had to keep on reminding himself of that whenever he started to slip and he'd be fine, back to his old self in no time.

He should have known better than to join Good and Bow for a drink a few days after his return to Bangkok. Result, lying with his head in Bow's lap and his feet in Good's, crying about what an asshole the guy he met in England was. Bow carded her fingers through his hair and listened to his complaints with a half-smile. "He's an idiot if he doesn't appreciate you," she said.