Hold on for Dear Love

24

"Evelyn!! Come here!" Karissa happily shouts after getting off the phone.
"What is it?!" Evelyn asks excitedly
"Your name is going to be officially Evelyn soon! Oh also your appointment with the gender specialist has been scheduled too!"Karissa tells her then embraces her daughter in a tight hug.
"I can't believe it! I'm finally going to be more like myself." Evelyn happily cries.
The day that they finally got  to go to the court house felt like a dream.
"I am Evelyn and I am ready to take on the world!" Evelyn shouts as she leaves the courtroom with her updated birth certificate in her hands.
"That's my girl!" Billie says giving her a high five.Karissa hugs her daughter and lets her know that she's so proud of her.
Hearing "I am proud of you" from Karissa made Evelyn tear up a little, it's not like she doubted her mother's love but they never really been super close. Billie has always been her main supporter in everything while Karissa has never been good with words or showing how much she really does care. They all get into the car and Billie looks over from the drivers seat at Karissa who looks back, they grab hands for a second and exchange a "we did it" look.
As Billie starts driving she laughs and says, "I was right."
"What do you mean?" Karissa asks her.
"You originally gave Evelyn a basic ass name that didn't suit her." Billie laughs.
"Oh for fucks sake Billie." Karissa says rolling her eyes.
"Haha yes! Mama Billie is never wrong!" Evelyn shouts from the back seat with a laugh.
"Yeah you tell her Evelyn Audia Marie O'Connell!" Billie shouts back.
"I was going to threaten to divorce you, but we aren't even married yet." Karissa jokes.
"That's gotta change soon, maybe after we get Evelyn started on hormone blockers?" Billie says.
Karissa nods her head in agreement but doesn't know what to say, she never thought Billie would want to get married. She knows Billie loves her dearly but marriage has always been a touchy subject for Billie ever since Anna passed away. Billie is just so afraid of losing someone she loves that it's been hard for her to make such a big commitment and Karissa understands and doesn't push it on her.
They get home and are welcomed by Billie's family, Maggie, Patrick, Claudia, Finneas, and their daughter Echo are all there. "surprise!" they all shout as they walk through the door. "You did this for me?!" Evelyn asks them. She looks around and see's a banner with her name on it, cake, and balloons as well. "Yes we sure did!" Claudia tells her. Evelyn is beaming with joy, "Did you guys know about this?" She asks her moms. "No, no we didn't." Billie tells her then thanks her family for the nice surprise.
They spend the rest of the day eating cake, singing songs, and just having a good, carefree time as a family. It's moments like these that makes Billie thankful that her past suicide attempt failed. The evening comes to an end and everyone starts to leave,
"Hey mama how did you know that mom was the right person for you?" Evelyn asks Billie after everyone leaves for the night. Billie about chokes on her own saliva, she knew these questions will come eventually but she didn't expect them right this very moment.
"Oh boy honey that's a long story." Billie laughs shaking her head trying to dismiss the question, well, at least until Karissa comes back from taking the trash out.
"I have time." Evelyn asks intently.
Billie sighs in defeat, "follow me." She says.
Evelyn gets up from the living room couch and follows her into Billie's bedroom.
Billie grabs a box from the highest shelf and blows some dust off the lid.
"Well, the time has finally come and now that you are old enough to understand I'll start at the beginning." Billie tells her daughter.
Just then Karissa walks in, "what's going on here?" She asks with a smile.
"Evelyn wants to know about how we met and how I knew you where the one for me." Billie says.
"Oh do you think she's ready?" Karissa asks her girlfriend.
"Yeah yeah she is." Billie tells her.
"Why wouldn't I be?" Evelyn asks curiously.
"Well let's just put it like this, it isn't the happiest of stories."." Karissa says and sits next too Evelyn.
Billie also goes and sits on the other side of Evelyn. Billie holds onto the box tightly, the  box full of precious memories that where hidden away for so long. She takes the lid off and her eyes water at the sight of old pictures of Anna, she sees the bear that says "I love you" in Anna's voice, she sees the old sweatshirts, and diaries.
"Who's this?" Evelyn asks as she grabs a picture of Anna smiling.
"That's Anna, she was my girlfriend before I met your mom." Billie tells her.
They look through the photos together and Evelyn spots on of Billie in the hospital, barely recognizable from how thin and sickly she was.
"Mama what happened?" Evelyn asks Billie and she starts to cry as well.
"That was after I was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with anorexia. It was a very hard time but Anna helped me get through it." Billie tells her.
"Well why did you guys break up? Do you still talk? Will I ever be able to meet her?" Evelyn asks
Billie looks at Karissa then back and Evelyn and sighs,
"well, Evelyn dear.... Anna isn't alive anymore, she took her own life after I attempted to take mine. Your mom, my beautiful girlfriend Karissa found me lifeless at a near by lake hidden by trees. She called 911 and the paramedics took me to the hospital. It took a bit for them to stabilize me and find a pulse.
Since Karissa was the one to find me and call 911, Anna and them both went to the hospital. Anna thought I was already gone so she snuck away and overdosed thinking she'd be with me forever again... when I finally got home from the hospital, my parents needed an extra hand around the house and so she hired Karissa to help with chores and such while my mom made sure I was stable and not going to attempt again.  As much as I hate to admit it, I hated Karissa for the longest time. I hated her so much because I thought she was trying to replace Anna. That is until I finally came to my senses and realized I was pushing her away so much because I was falling in love with her but I was so fucking scared too because of what happened with Anna." Billie tells her.
The room is filled with silence until Evelyn hugs Billie, "I'm so glad you're still here."
She then turns and hugs Karissa, "I am so glad you are here and saved her."
They all are crying and this point but Evelyn had another question for them,
"So how did you make me cause you are both girls. I know I'm young but I know how babies are made."  She asks.
Billie reaches behind Evelyn to grab Karissa's hand to support her as she talks about what happened that day that Evelyn was conceived.
"Well baby, when Billie and I first started our relationship, I went out to the store. As I was getting into my car a strange man who I've never seen before jumped into my car and took advantage of me, he raped me." She tells her daughter.
"Why didn't you abort me!? It must've been so hard for you to carry a child along with the trauma." Evelyn says looking up at her mother, A single tear falls down her cheek.
Karissa takes her thumb and wipes it off, "Well because  honey, despite of how you where conceived I wanted to be a mother, I wanted to be your mother and watch you grow into who ever you wanted to be. It wasn't always easy but with Billie there to help we made it through. I love you, you aren't him. There is nothing of him that I see in you. You are perfect, pure, angelic, loving, and all things good." She says.
"Wow, you two are so strong. I am just so glad to have you both." Evelyn says and then breaks down and sobs. They all start to sob and embrace in a family hug.
"So I guess I knew we where meant to be together because neither of us gave up on each other or ourselves" Billie says, her eyes all red and puffy from crying.
"Why did you want to know anyways?" Karissa chimes in.
"Well there is a new boy in school and he's really nice and I got his number." Evelyn says.
"Ooooh someone has a crush!! Just be careful okay, stay guarded. I don't want you getting hurt okay? It's a bit harder for people like you..." Billie tells Evelyn.
"Why?" She asks but then her heart drops when she realizes.. "oh right all because I was born in the wrong body... I forgot..."
"Well, if he can't see past that and won't stay by your side despite the challenges life brings he isn't worth it." Karissa tells her.
"Thanks mothers now I'm gonna go text him. I love you" Evelyn says and skips out of the room.
Billie and Karissa are left alone, Billie puts the box back up on the shelf then hugs her girlfriend.
"We raised one hell of a good kid." Karissa says.
"Yes we sure did." Billie tells her and then kisses Karissa's forehead.
"Lock the door." Karissa says.
"Why?" Billie asks.
"Fine I'll do it, get on the bed." Karissa says
"Ohh" Billie says realizing what Karissa was getting at.
Karissa locks the door then says
"I'm making sweet love to you tonight."