A Red Pen

Chapter 7: Decisions, Dreams, Doubt

Things aren't great. At least, not right now.

Then again, Stiles honestly believes you would find it difficult to meet someone that believed everything to be great all of the time.

The simplest of run-downs is this: Derek and his parents haven't spoken for five days. The Sheriff keeps dipping into his liquor cabinet, thinking himself to be subtle enough that his son won't notice, which is frankly very naïve of him at this point. Their friends are caught in limbo, Scott always sitting with a pained look on his face when he's with them by being forced to keep a secret from his mate and the rest of their friends. Especially now that Stiles is really developing, his friends have been giving him weird looks because his scent has started to change. And Derek. Derek, who is trying so hard to be supportive, looks positively miserable whenever he believes there isn't a spotlight on him. Stiles doesn't think he has smiled properly since that night on the cliff. There isn't much to smile about in all honesty, so Stiles doesn't blame him.

But hey, his morning sickness seems to have lessened a bit. That's good. It may not seem like a lot, but excuses at school for why he has to puke so often will only go far. He even talked to Coach a couple of days ago about quitting the team, and boy, was that fun. Stiles' ears are still ringing. Ever need lessons on colourful articulations of obscure swear words, then the Coach is your man.

But the choice did confuse everyone, even Jackson let his mask slip to ask if something was wrong. Stiles lied. He lied, like he's been lying for weeks. He's a lying liar who lies. It hurts that now lying doesn't even seem to faze him. It's as easy as breathing.

And to top it all off, Derek and Stiles have an appointment today with the doctor whom will work through their plan with them. Stiles doesn't know if they've made the right choice, but he is more than aware that there is no right choice here. He and Derek have stayed up for entire nights just talking this through. They talked to Stiles' dad. They spoke to Melissa as well. They wanted to know everyone's position before they went for it, but they knew the ultimate decision rested with them.

Even though he thought they were doing what was best for everyone, sometimes, in the height of darkness, Derek dead to the world on the floor next to him, Stiles lifted his shirt and rested his hand over his small bump and imagined he could feel the tiny thing's heartbeat through the skin, so oblivious, so innocent. So alone in the world. He could see them, little feet, little hands, everything so small and so unprotected. It's there and it's real, and it's fucking terrifying.

He wakes up the morning of the appointment colder than ever before. It's not like Beacon Hills ever gets really cold, and today, the day seems to be a perfect one, sunlight piercing the breaks in the curtains of his bedroom to fall upon the two bodies inside warmly, but nothing feels good, not the weather, not his body, not him. He tries to wave away his concerns and goes to nudge a sleeping Derek with his foot. When he and Derek had returned home after the dinner with the Hales, his dad had taken one look at the pair and pulled them in for a hug. But that didn't mean he was going to let them share a bed, after everything, but some begging later, he let them sleep in the same room for 'comfort purposes only', but any shenanigans and Derek would be in the spare room.

Derek jumps up immediately. He's been sleeping really lightly lately, the slightest squeak and he is up and about in two seconds. "What? What's happening? You okay?"

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Yes, dumbass. It's just time for school." Normally, Stiles would have three alarms set because he loves to sleep in, but nowadays he is own personal alarm clock due to his fucked-up sleep-cycle. So, yeah, pregnancy is great.

They get ready quickly and without exchanging too many words. It's funny comparing how they are now to only a few weeks ago. There used to be such an ease to everything, every problem could be solved with a snap of fingers, even if it seemed like the biggest problem the universe could devise. Ignorance truly is bliss.