Ghosts Of The Past [BoyxBoy] ✓

51. Damn.

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Chase pushes me away. 

I feel terrible seeing him this upset. 

"Chase, I never meant to hurt you—"

"But that's what you did! When you took my virginity, when you knocked up my sister! You keep hurting me again and again!" He screams with anger and sadness. 

My eyes fill with tears.

"I know.." I sniff.

"I never got mad at you! I never screamed, not even when you knocked her up but I can't take it anymore! Do you know how fucked up I was when Loren told me? But I never let it show. Because I was always thinking about how bad you must feel or how you're doing but I'm sick and tired of it! I'm tired of always getting screwed over!" 

"I'm sorry—"

"What is sorry gonna give me?! I'll still be here, broken up over you while you live happily with Aron and Loren and your fucking baby!" He cries. 

"I'm all alone!" Chase weeps. 

"You're not! You can't say that!" 

Chase just keeps crying and I want nothing more than to hold him in my arms and make him feel better. Take away all the pain I caused. Stop this anxious feeling that he might turn around and do something terrible to himself. 

"Why don't you want me?" Chase asks quietly. His eyes are the saddest eyes I've ever seen. It breaks my heart. 

"You know why." I whisper. 

"I need you to say it. Straight to my face. Just say it." He looks deep into my eyes. 

I don't want to. I don't want to make him feel worse. But what can I do? I can't keep pretending or beating around the bush.. 

I take a shaky breath. 

"I love Aron." I say looking into his eyes. 

A tear streams down Chase's cheek. He takes a deep breath holding onto his heart. 

"Okay." He says. 

I move closer, to hold him, do something.. but he backs away. 

"Please," He holds up his hand. "Please, I just need to be alone for a while, okay?" 

I nod and take a step back. 

I watch Chase as he steps into his car and drives away. And I'm overwhelmed by this anxious feeling that he's not okay and that he's gonna do something stupid. 

I grab my phone and call Steven. 

"Yello-" 

"Steven, it's Sky. Chase just left school and he was really upset. I'm scared. I think he might..." I can't get it out of my throat.

"Okay, I'm on it." With that he hangs up. It's so strange hearing Steven's usually jovial voice go so low and serious. 

I hope everything will be okay. 

***

I'm in history class, staring out the window when I finally get a text. 

Steven: Chase just got home. He's okay.

I sigh of relief. 

"Sky," Aron whispers so the teacher won't hear.

I turn to him.

"And?" He asks.

"He's okay."

"Good." Aron caresses my back.