Ghosts Of The Past [BoyxBoy] ✓

41. Let Go

Aron and I are standing across from each other. We're at his house now. It's been three days since Loren told me she was pregnant. Three days since I ran off. Three days since I spoke to Aron. He's pretty mad at me for disappearing again. I don't blame him. 

I apologized to Loren and begged her to forgive me. And begged her to let me be in her life, to let me help with the baby, with everything. I promised her I'd do better. She's still mad at me but she's slowly but surely letting me back in. She hasn't told anyone. She doesn't want anyone to know yet. So the only ones who know about her pregnancy are me, my mom and her. She hasn't even told her family. Which I'm happy about. It would break Chase's heart if he knew. But there's one person who deserves to know. The person that's been beside me when I was at my worst. The person I love the most and I betrayed. 

"I'm sorry." I say. It's the first thing I say since I got here. 

He's standing by the huge window and smoking a cigarette. His intense eyes on me. It might be because it's an unusually cloudy day but everything seems to be in black and white. Aron's dressed in black, head to toe, as am I. The house is bright white, the light is low. The world looks void of all color today.

"A lot happened." I say. 

He doesn't say a word, he just looks at me. 

"You could've texted me." He finally answers. 

I look down at the floor. "I know. Sorry." 

More silence. I fumble with my rings as I muster up the courage to say this. I take a deep breath. 

"We need to break up." I say, looking him dead in the eye. 

He freezes. 

"What?" He says, sounding breathless. 

"I.. I did something." Another deep breath. 

"It's why I left school.. I.." 

He's still frozen, looking at me with all his attention.

"I slept with Loren." I say quietly as I look at the floor.

I look up. He's staring at me blankly. 

"Doesn't matter to me." He answers. 

I frown. 

"I just told you I cheated on you!" 

"Look— Are you proud of it?" 

"No!" 

"Do you regret it?" 

"Yes, but—" 

"Then it was a mistake, we move past it." He takes a long drag and leans against the window. 

"But.. d... doesn't it bother you?" 

"Of course it fucking bothers me!" He screams. 

I pull back at the sudden outburst. 

"Do you think I like the image of that bitch on top of you? Touching your body like it's hers! It fucking hurts!" He roars. 

I can hear his heart tearing as he talks. And it hurts me more than anything that I'm causing him all this pain. 

When he speaks his voice is calm again.

"But it happened and I forgive you. So we move on." He says this as he pours himself a drink. 

"We can't do that." I say quietly. 

"Why not?" His voice is calm but there's an edge to it. Like he's trying to keep it together. 

I can't look at him so I focus on the bottle of whiskey instead. 

"Loren's pregnant." I almost whisper. "She's keeping the baby." 

He sucks in a big rage-filled breath of air trying to calm himself. 

I flinch at the sudden sound of glass scattering to the other side of the room as Aron throws his glass against the wall. 

"Jesus Christ!" He screams. 

"I'm sorry." I cover my face and lower to the floor.

"Don't start fucking crying now, Sky!" He screams.

I can't help it. I hate this so much. I hate how I'm hurting him. He's miserable because of me. 

I wipe my tears and look up at him. 

His back is turned to me and he's trying to breathe. He throws back another drink. 

"I'm sorry I keep hurting you. I never wanted this to happen.." 

"Then why did you do it?" He turns around and his eyes are burning in pain. 

"Why would you do this if you knew it would hurt me?" His voice breaks. And he sniffs, turns away from me again. 

I breathe in. "Because that's what I do. I hurt the people I love.." I sniff. 

"And I love you, Aron." 

He turns around and looks into my eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing. And I can't believe I'm saying it. But it's the truth. And I'm sticking to the truth from now on. 

"I don't wanna hurt you anymore," I rise to my feet. "So we need to break up." 

A new wave of pain washes over the fresh hope in his eyes. 

"I know that with the way I am right now, I don't deserve you. And you deserve someone better. Someone who loves you the right way. Not someone who keeps stepping on your heart."

"I can take it!" Aron argues. 

"I don't want you to!" I step forward. "I can't live with myself, knowing that I'm hurting you. So please—" 

"No! Sky, no!" Aron grabs my arm and pulls me to him. 

"I don't want anyone else! You can't leave me." He begs. 

His eyes looks so full of pain. The pain I inflicted these past couple of months. 

"I'm not letting you go." He says sternly. 

He pulls me closer to him and kisses me desperately. I don't stop him. I'm too weak to. I'm so tired. 

He pulls away. 

"Please.." I beg. "I just need to be alone for a while." I look into his eyes. They look so sad and then they look determined and he holds me tighter, refusing to let go. He embraces me. 

I push him away gently but he keeps holding on. 

"Aron.." I plead. 

"Please, just.. A little while longer." His voice is softer than I ever heard. He sounds so breakable and small. It's completely new. 

Minutes pass by before we finally accept it's over..

and let go.