May we meet again // Amelia Shepherd X reader

Pulling a Monica

I stayed silent for a while trying to steady my breathing. As thoughts started running through my head. What did I do? What did we do? Oh, I hope she'll want to run away and it won't be on me. I can't leave her now, she'd think I used her and it would probably hurt her. But wouldn't it be better to do it now?

I was scared and ashamed that I was even thinking about it. Was it a mistake to sleep with her?

I felt tears gathering in my eyes. Don't cry now. Shit, I hate myself sometimes.

Amelia's POV

It was so good even though I wasn't the one getting an orgasm. I couldn't imagine that her moaning my name would feel so freaking great. I turned my head to look at her again and all my happiness disappeared.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked noticing her wet face, "what's wrong?"

She ignored my question quickly getting up from the bed and running into the bathroom and locking the door.

I wrapped a blanket around me and heard the water. She probably turned it on to cover up her tears.

"Y/N," I said softly knocking on the closed door, "open the door, please."

I recognized her sobbing even with the running water.

"Tell me what's wrong," I knocked again.

Nothing.

I sat on the floor with my back against the door waiting for her.

What did I do?

After what felt like hours I heard the lock opened and immediately stood up. I saw her face with red eyes in the ajar door.

"You need to go," she whispered avoiding eye contact.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what happened," I replied sternly.

"I don't want to lie to you. So I'm just gonna say it. I'm freaking out so it would be better if you leave now. I don't want you to see me like this," she finally raised her eyes, "and I don't want to accidentally say something that may hurt you. And I can do it. So go. Please."

"But what if it already hurts?" the tear fell down my cheek.

"We'll talk later, I promise, Amelia," she said as she closed the door in front of me. My hand landed on the again closer door and I leaned my forehead on it.

Back to Y/N's POV

I closed the door and slide down it to the floor. It hurt like hell seeing her like that. But let's face the truth. I got really scared. She made me feel things I never did before so I needed to process all that.

People lie, people hurt, people betray. I am people. I just hurt her.

I sat there, naked and alone, for some time trying to find at least one reason why I did it. But all I could come out with were excuses. I felt so bad. I didn't understand why I panicked.

By the time I went out of the bathroom, she was already gone. I found a hoodie and pajama pants in the closet and took a cab to one place I thought I would never go. Parents. I put on AirPods and tapped shuffle on Spotify. "Lose somebody" by Kygo and OneRepublic started to play. How ironic.

It's a classic 'me' mistake
Someone gives me love and I throw it all away
Tell me have I gone insane?
Talking to myself but I don't know what to say 'cause
You let go
And now I'm holding on
I guess you don't know what you got
Until it's gone