schlatt (+lunch club) : babysitter

+ thirteen

the stream went amazingly! by the end i have a few hundred subs and a couple thousand followers. connor was right, he did help me massively.

i spend the next day quizzing the guys on how to stream.
"and how do you raid? oh also what are gifted subs? and what's a prime?"
charlie happily answers while the rest of them chuckle at my newfound obsession.

"this is so exciting i'm gonna check my twitter!"
"don't ever check your indirects." schlatt pipes up.
"why?"
"people will try to cancel you for anything."
"will they?"
"yeah i mean i get so many. people are always trying to cancel me."
"damn, okay. holy shit lots of followers!"
"y/n please still do cameras even though you're an overnight celebrity" ted puts his hands together and prays to me.

"i won't leave you guys don't worry"

"gimme your usernames! i'll follow ya on everything!"
"same here" mason and swagger say kindly.
"aw man thank you guys. you're getting my first merch sets, 100% free." i chuckle.
"hey don't laugh about that! you'll probably be needing a merch guy soon, i'll hook you up!"
"ted you are a little angel!"

we film a minecraft cooking video before calling it a day and discovering that the misfits guys have a pretty fun night planned.

"right so we got edibles on the counter, munchies to the right of those, drinks fridge by the table and we're gonna blast some wavy fuckin music alright?" fits chuckles.
"alrighttt!" says cooper.
as ted comes back from the bathroom, he and i slump on the sofa and get some beers going.

"wow y/n already a beer drinker?"
"best thing to introduce me to drinking more."
"very true!" he clinks out bottles together in a little toast.

"how's about some edibles y/n?"
"oh no thank you, one drug at a time for me."
"suit yourself. noah?"
"sure dude!" he hops out of his seat and follows swagger to the kitchen.

a couple drinks in, ted starts talking nonsense.
"y/n you see why i got schlatt to babysit you?"
"to annoy him?"
"noo! noo! you guys are so similar, i was thinking you'd be an item by wednesday."
"what?" i scowl, "all that dude has been is an asshole to me. he made me leave the campfire just so i'd stop being a better friend than him. he sucks."
"man- i really thought you'd hit it off! c'mon, you gotta admit you guys are such a match."
"he's an asshole new yorker who LIVES to be a dick, and i just want to experience LA and make friends. i don't think we're that compatible."
"yeah he is a little edgy too. hoping he'll become a better guy."
"maybe someday." i take a swig of my beer.

"alright i'm gonna grab a snack. i'm meeting my girlfriend's parents soon and i don't wanna eat too much."
"sweet, bring me something."

he returns finishing off a nerd rope.
"ahem?"
"oh my bad sorry i'll get your one. think i might go for a second soon too."
he heads back and come to hand me another fully wrapped one.
i check the packet, "jesus how much sugar is in these, you might not need anoth- oh no."
"what?" he says, munching away at the tip of his second one.
"ted dude... those are edibles." bucks calls over.
"aw man how much?"
"like 60mg? what does the packet say y/n?"
i give him a sorry look, "400mg..."
"four HUNDRED?"
"yeah... maybe call your girlfriend.."
"hey while you're there man sign some more posters."

we hear the snap of schlatt's camera as he takes a photo of ted's panicked face.
"that's gold."
"schlatt this isn't fucking funny i'm about the have the biggest high of my life."
"oh i think it is."
"fuck fuck fuck.." he grabs his phone shakily and runs off.

"you're gonna get fat if you keep snacking before mealtime."
"and you aren't?"
"well it's not as bad if i get fat, i'm a dude."
"so women need to be skinny?"
"yeah."
"i suppose now i should just get up and make you a sandwich?"
"i'd like that. maybe grab a beer for me too."
"you gonna throw a little tantrum if i sit here with beer and chips?"
"no, i'm just gonna watch as you become unattractive to every dude."
"thank goodness, that's my main goal in life."
he scoffs, "suit yourself."

hooray, asshole schlatt is back.

"schlatt look at me." i call out as i chug a can in s couple seconds, "a man's drink but bested by a girl, oh dear!"
"go cry about feminism somewhere else!"
"go be a virgin somewhere else!"
the guys start ooing at that and schlatt pisses off to sign more posters.
"dang y/n! you got him, fucking hell haha!" swagger laughs and pats my shoulder.
"he's such a loser, i'm a girl not a fuckin toddler."
"you want any other drinks?"
"give me another cocktail, i gotta try a few."
"hah! alright y/n."

i sit there with the boys, chuckling at their jokes and enjoying their shenanigans. swagger, cam, travis and cooper all light one up and start filling the room with a funny smelling smoke.
"come on y/n, just one toke."
i take in a deep breath and sip my 2nd drink, "pay me?"
"50 bucks, take it or leave it."
"i'll take that." i grin and snatch the zoot from travis' hands.

"y/n! y/n! y/n!" the boys chant happily and i inhale a little and start coughing.
"eugh! nasty!" i scrunch up my face and laugh with them.
"aw not your thing eh?"
"sorry swagger."
"no no it's cool! some people just aren't like that."
"i got my drinks! i'll stick to these."

cooper sits down with a bag of cheetos for his munchies and looks around.
"anyone seen ted?"
"that guys a ball of rubber bands." travis wheezes.

"see this is why i'm sticking to drinking." i raise my can, "drinking is much easier to handle."