Sorry | Murphamy AU | vol.1

4. Broken noses and butterflies

He presses his hand on my lower back, holding me close to him and I love the feeling so much it makes me hate him. I don't want to feel like this. Those butterflies that people talk about getting in movies- I don't want to feel them, but he's being so affectionate. His lips don't taste bitter and venomous. You'd think the words he speaks would leave some kind of remanence, but they don't. The words don't taint the sweetness of his lips and I hate it. I hate it, so I deserve it. I don't deserve to love things- to be loved.

I feel him furrow his eyebrows and I grow nervous when I feel his hand loosen from my back. It leaves, but he's still kissing me. He takes both my hands, pulling them around his back until they find each other- until I'm holding onto him and he's holding onto me.

Oh.

Some people use others, and other's use people and trick them into thinking that they're important and special. Bellamy's the later and I find myself not having a problem with it. As long as he kisses me like this, I couldn't give less of a damn.

"Are you okay?" he mumbles pulling away slightly. I nod, that seeming to be the default when I'm asked that question.

"Please don't lie to me." his whisper doesn't sound angry or rude. It sounds desperate. I pull away so I can look at his eyes. People can be amazing liars, but they can't control their eyes. My eyes betray me all the time, that's why I don't look at people when I lie, because they'll know. I can't find anything in his eyes except for something that I don't recognize.

"I-" my speech is cut off with the sound of a doorbell. Bellamy's hand slides off my back and I pull my arms back to my side before folding them across my chest. He leaves without a word, to go and see who it is, but when he turns away, I swear I see him wipe his eyes.

Jeez, is Bellamy really that sensitive?

Bellamy P.o.v.

I wipe my eyes, trying to get downstairs as quickly as I can. Did he really make me cry? I don't think anyone has ever made me cry before. Maybe when I was little and hurt myself, but never over emotional issues, I don't get those! What the fuck?! My jaw sets as I open the door, half expecting it to be the mailman or neighbour.

"The fuck man? You have the house to yourself and you don't call us over?" Mbege takes the liberty and walks in, Atom following behind.

"Sorry, I have a project with-"

"Holy hell, what's this freak doing here?" Mbege asks and I turn to see Murphy walking up to us. He's holding a bunch of papers. I have no idea where he got them from. He looks pissed. His lips are still red and eyes blue as anything. I feel worse than I should. I bet he thinks I planned this.

"Here, I'll have the rest done by Monday." he mumbles, handing the pages, not making eye contact with anyone.

"You're leaving?" I ask, trying to hide how upset I am and he shrugs. Why wouldn't he leave? I would if I were him.

"My mom called, she-"

"She cares about you now? Holy shit when did that happen?" Mbege cuts in, and Atom laughs. Murphy doesn't even look in their direction. He just shrugs, puts on his boots and opens the door. He turns back.

"Don't act like your mom is any better. Our moms talk all the time. Especially at work." he says casually before closing the door behind him. I don't understand what he means, but it seems to have angered Mbege.