𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐓 𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐓⁰²ʰᵉᵐᵐⁱⁿᵍˢ

23 when you loose

asari
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Things start when you say "I didn't mean it" and the other doesn't believe you. Things could easily be patched up with a little bit of apology and honesty, but Calum and Darlene's wound had been been gaping open for a year. They were past admitting wrongs when they'd spent so long telling each other the opposite was the truth.

After the night of their street show, we returned home with nothing to talk about. Calum sped to the washroom to get ready for sleep and Darlene went staight to her room. Calum snuck in my room afterwards and convinced me to let him sleep on my bed instead of the couch. I didn't ask why, but I understood he didn't want to see Darlene the next day.

I lied between the wall and his broad back, eyes glued to the darkened ceiling as I'd more or less figured out the answer to what Osric and Cade had asked.

"So... what do I tell Cade?" I asked timidly in the dark, my voice almost too silent.

"I'm going," Calum answered immediately, his tone decided and stony. He'd made up his mind and by the sound of it, I couldn't convince him otherwise. "I'm packing my stuff tomorrow,"

I wanted to object. Tomorrow. So soon. I could feel his want for an escape almost reek off his back and onto me.

I nodded and slept, my back facing his.

The next morning at work, I promptly texted Cade the news, the words feeling bitter to type out into a message. hey cade, it's ase :) calum confirmed he's in on the program. question, what do you really do in it?

Hey, Ase! Good morning to you too, he replied not too long later, We just offer a place to stay, really, for the people who don't have a place or need some ends met. The house is safe and is just of walking distance from the church where the group meeings are held. You and him go there right?

I paused, staring at the screen as I recalled the house across the church. So that's what it was for. It felt satisfying to have the gap filled in with this. At least I'd know where Calum would be. yeah we do, but separate meetings.

Do you mind giving me his number? I don't want to keep bothering you every time I need to tell him something.

I went ahead and shared Calum's number, the nerves wrecking my stance as I cleaned the counter while waiting for his reply. Not too long after, Calum would be moved out, Darlene found in dismay, and I'd have to be there to tell her the news. I hated it. I hated being there for consoling when I felt guilty.

The day sped by between shifts and pretending my mind wasn't afloat elsewhere. Mike wasn't in as he'd called in sick (most probably due to a horrible hangover), which left me to glaze over conversations with Maisie and Ellie. Some part of me missed them even though I saw them almost every day. They seemed so far even as I walked around them and shared some short-lived conversations. I wasn't really there.

When I saw them, all I heard was Mike's voice whispering I don't want them thinking you're broken or something. He hung around like a reminder on my shoulder, and he did it well - invading the back of my mind when I started to talk to one of my two colleagues.

Mike knew I wasn't broken, he cared, he said so and did so and it was all I saw in him. Ellie and Maisie couldn't know me the way he did anyway, so it felt like wasting something precious when I talked to them. Guilt, again, for the way I thought about them.

When I got home, a duffel bag sat in the hallway. Darlene had texted she'd be out for groceries, so all that was left to assume was that it was Calum's.