Karma

SEVEN

—REECE—

"You've been scratching." I say, eyebrows drawn and a frown on my face. She tries to pull out of my hold but I tighten my grip, my other hand looping around her waist and keeping her close.

Catalina hates being touched unless she allows it but at the moment, I couldn't give less of a fuck. If she's been stressed so much to the point where she resorts to hurting herself, I want to know and I want to help.

I lift her wrist up between us, seeing the skin irritated and small droplets of dried blood scattered over. This was a habit of hers when we were in school together, and I only noticed it so late into the years we knew each other.

I would try to distract her with stupid jokes, would take her hand sometimes in mine so she wouldn't get the urge to reach up and scratch her skin raw.

"Let me go." She says but she doesn't sound angry anymore, rather embarrassed. She avoids my gaze, staring at my shoulder and does another poor attempt at trying to pull her wrist out of my hold again.

"Catalina," I say softly, looking up at her. "You've been stressed."

"Why do you think that is?" She hisses back at me, and the flush that rises up her neck has me swallowing hard.

"It's not just me, it's something else. You only get stressed out like this when it's something major."

"What? Marrying you isn't fucking big?" Her voice is on the edge of shaking now and she's still not fucking looking at me.

"Catalina," I lower my voice to a whisper, sliding my hand up her back and using it to pull her further towards me so our faces are inches away. "Ace." I pull out her old nickname, a dirty trick that becomes her undoing when she grits her teeth, shaking her head at me.

"Let me go, Reece." She says softly. "Please."

I swallow again, pressing her hand against my chest and let her touch consume me for a few seconds. She's freezing cold despite it being the beginnings of fall, and I look over her shoulder on the rock to see the hoodie she must have taken off.

Finally, I let her go, walking around her and bending over so I can grab the hoodie. Catalina hasn't moved from her spot, only shifting her arms so that they're hugging her body in self-comfort.

Walking back over to her, I hand her the hoodie and watch as she shrugs it back on, resorting back to her stance as before.

This Catalina is more familiar to me than when I first met her, or when she's arguing with me. This Catalina, the vulnerable version, was someone I spent summers with up in her treehouse talking about her absent father and wonderful mother. It was someone who knew all my fears, who rooted for my accomplishments.

It was someone who I no longer recognized because this Catalina, the one right in front of me, had changed her expression so quickly, shut down her emotions so fast leaving a vacancy inside.

It frightened me through and through.

"I'm sorry for insinuating that you weren't allowed to go anywhere," I apologize because I know that we needed a fresh start. One away from her resentment towards me due to the fake marriage I schemed up for us. "You can go anywhere you want, do anything you have your heart set on. But just let me know."

She swallows once, contemplating something before looking up at me. "I don't want to tell you."

One step forward, three steps back.

"You're being difficult."

"Then don't marry me."

She was being hard for a reason. She wanted me to back out on this. Me to call it off and let her go. But I didn't want to do that—fuck I just wanted to know what was storming inside her head.

What kept her awake at night, what stressed her out enough to hurt herself like this.

"You don't care about me," She whispers. "You don't give a fuck if I live or die as long as I fit your agenda. You're using me, ruining me, like it's all a game for you and not my fucking life. You think that just because you got me out of a shitty situation, that makes you a hero? You think that makes what you did okay? That you aren't exactly like my father? How many times do I have to repeat myself to you? How many times does a person say no until it turns into a yes out of desperation?"

"What do you want me to tell you, Catalina? What do you want me to say? How did you expect me to go about life after the fucking girl I used to adore disappeared off the face of the earth and left me without a goodbye? Fuck off with that 'I don't care about you' bullshit. We both fucking know how much I do. We both fucking know my intentions here."

She slumps her shoulders, head down finally admitting through her actions that she knows I'm right. Her spewing out hateful words won't push me away. They don't defere me anymore than they did the first time I saw her.

"When will you realize that we're on the same side?" I whispered low, trying to catch her gaze but failing.

She fixes her zip up, fiddling with the strings.

"Until you die for me."

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