Fall For You; A Castiel Love Story

Chapter 5: Why?

((a/n: not going to write out the entire first episode, just gonna skip to Jess's death))

-Carter-

We were done with the case and were back at Stanford, dropping Sam off. No luck finding dad, but we found his journal, so we're still trying. "Alright, Sam. Hope you rock that interview" I said, smiling at him through the sun visor mirror, "Thanks Carter, I will" he replied, smiling back, then got out of the car. He walked away a bit before Dean called him back, "Hey Sammy!... We made an awesome team back there" Dean said, referring to all three of us. Sam smiled, "yeah, we did" Dean smiled back, watching as Sam walked off, then he was about to drive off when I stopped him. "Wait" I said, putting my hand on the wheel, "What?" Dean asked, "Don't drive off yet." I said, watching the apartment Sam disappeared into. "Why?" Right when he asked, the room suddenly went up into flames. "Son of a bitch" Dean said, both of us getting out of the car, racing in to grab Sam. I got to him first, gasping as I saw Sam's girlfriend pinned to the roof, her stomach slashed and on fire. "come on Sam" I said, pulling him off the bed, quickly escaping the room, Dean helping me.

When the fire department came, Jessica was no longer on the ceiling but on the floor, so there were no suspicions. They carried her body out on a stretcher with a body sheet, putting her in one of the ambulances. Dean and Sam were rummaging through the trunk, while I sat on the hood of the Impala, my knees pulled up to my chest and my head in my hands. I know, I didn't know Jessica all that well, and she was Sam's girlfriend, but it's still traumatizing seeing a body burn on a ceiling. "Carter, you okay?" I heard Dean ask. I looked up, sighing, "just... I'm fine" I said, "Carter, there was nothing we could've done" he said, sitting beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I laid my head on his shoulder, "Yeah, I know, Dean. I don't know why I'm freaking out about this. She was Sam's girlfriend, not mine" I said. "It's okay. Seeing that kind of thing, it's pretty traumatizing." He said. I nodded, "yeah. It was... I mean... We think we've seen everything... Seen so many cruel things, but... Really... In reality... We've only seen so little" I said, "Know what ya mean" Dean said, rubbing my shoulder. "Come on, lets get going. Better get your spot before Sam jacks it" "Sam's coming with us?" I asked surprised, He nodded, "wants to find her killer" "Oh" I said, getting off the hood, then I walked to the passenger side, sliding in beside Dean. "How you holding up?" I asked Sam, looking at him through the mirror. He shrugged, looking out the window. "Fine" he said,

I sighed, then took out the map, giving Dean directions. I couldn't help but keep glancing back at Sam through the mirror, noticing the rage, shock and depression on his face. He turned to me, catching me staring, a look of pure hatred in his eyes. I quickly looked away, studying the map.

-1 Week Later; Carter-

I was sleeping peacefully, then a sudden yell snapped me out of it. "What happened? Where's the monster?" I asked, still half asleep, yanking my blade out from under my pillow. "Relax, it's just Sam" I heard Dean grumble. I looked over at Dean, who was laying on his stomach, covering his head with his pillow. I laughed, then hid my blade. I looked over at Sam who was staring at the ceiling. I sighed, then got up, going over to the couch he was laying on, sitting beside him. "You okay, Sam?" I asked softly. He looked up at me, the same hatred in his eyes from the night Jessica died. "Sam, I'm sorry about Jess" I said, taking his hand in mine, but he snatched it away. "You're sorry?" He asked. I was about to answer when he interrupted. "You broke in, dragged me hunting, had me search for dad who is still missing! My girlfriend is dead! And all because you didn't want to search for dad on your own. If it weren't for you, Jess would still be alive! It's your fault she died! It's your fault mom died! You're a mistake, Carter. You're not even a part of this family! I don't know why mom and dad took you in! We would've been perfectly fine without you here, because all you do is ruin everything. You're the reason mom died!" I looked away, trying so hard to keep it together. "Fine. You don't want me here? No problem" I said, then I grabbed my bag and the keys to the Impala, leaving the motel room, not caring if I slammed the door. I got in the car, tossing my stuff to the passenger seat, then I turned the car on, closing the windows, and locking the doors, putting on Dean's music loudly, ignoring the world. I pressed my forehead to the steering wheel and let everything out...

-Meanwhile; Dean-

"Dude, what the hell was that?" I asked, getting up, "What? I just told her the truth" Sam replied. "No, you were being an ass. Why'd you have to yell at Carter for? It wasn't her idea to drag you out of Stanford, it was mine. She's not the reason Jess and Mom died and you know that! You can't accuse her like that! You can't tell her she doesn't belong here! She didn't have anywhere else to go! You can't yell at her like that! Why do you think dad never yelled at her? Carter may seem strong, but she's also very sensitive." I yelled. "Dean-" "No, Sam. I've seen the look on your face since the day we left Stanford, you couldn't talk to Carter, you couldn't even look at her! She didn't do anything! Why are you getting pissed at her?! If anything, you should get pissed at me and take your anger out on me, not on Carter!" I interrupted, then left the room, heading to the car, seeing Carter.

-Carter-

I was lost in my thoughts and tears, feeling entirely guilty over everything that happened, then a sudden knock on the window startled me. I jumped, looking up to see Dean. I lowered the music, then unlocked the passenger door, watching as Dean slid in beside me. He closed the door, then turned to me, "Carter. Are you okay?" He asked. I didn't meet his gaze, instead, I turned to stare out the windshield, "I'm fine" I said. "Carter. Talk to me." He said. I sighed, looking down, "everything's all my fault" I said softly. Dean leaned over the seats, pulling me into his arms, hugging me tightly, "None of this is your fault. You didn't cause any of that stuff. Sam's full of it, don't worry about it, Carter." "I feel like if we didn't drag him out of Stanford, we wouldn't be in this mess" I said. "There was nothing we could've done to prevent it. I hate to say it, but it probably would've still happened" he said. "Whatever Dean. I just wanna get outta here. I'm obviously not wanted around. I don't belong any where. My mom didn't want me and it's clear you guys don't want me either" I said, about to pull out of his embrace, but his arms tightened around me. "Carter. Don't listen to Sam. He was pissed and we all know that when Sam's pissed, he says things he doesn't mean. Don't take what he said personal." He said, but I ignored him, trying to pull away again. "Let me go" I said. "No. Not until you look at me" he said. I sighed, then slowly looked up at Dean, "Carter, listen to me. You are not going anywhere. I'm not gonna let you run away. I don't want you to leave. You might not be blood, but you're still my sister. I care for you, Carter. I want you here. Sam wants you here too. Things wouldn't be the same without you here." he said. I looked down, fighting the tears, focusing my gaze on the stitching of Dean's jeans. "Carter" he said softly. I closed my eyes, then wrapped my arms around him tightly, letting everything out...