Derek: we literally catch serial kilers for a living idk😇🦖
Y/n: leave him tf alone God damn, trying fight jellybean headass?
Derek: ight short stack let's go 🥊🥊🥺
Emily: my money's on y/n 😍💖 go bestie go
Hotch: don't fist fight in the bullpen please take it outside 👍
Rossi: I just knocked over the popcorn machine and it's popping all over my office what do I do oh my god what
Hotch: Rossi..
Hotch: I'll come help one moment
Emily: #hossi
Garcia: FOUL? X0
Derek: Nah #horgassi
JJ: .. yo?
Reid: What's a horgassi?
Emily: derek what is wrong with you?
Derek: I learned 🧠 I romantically❤ and sexually like men that's what happened to me, cope or die 😚🥶😎🤯🤯
Y/n: you just shipped yourself with our boss and a guy twice your age 😧☝🏻
Derek: legally twice my age** it do not matter he's hot 🥶🥶
Emily: so you realize you had no chance with our QUEER boss and so you move onto the oldest and STRAIGHT man on our team? Who hurt you? 😕
Derek: 🥺🤞🏾 mind your business I'm living my best life 😎💖
Rossi: Derek I'm flattered but I'm straight
Derek: dawg I used to say that too it's okay 🙄😣 come out when you're ready Italian seasoning 😫💋💋
Hotch: I know a REALLY good therapist that can help you cope with your daddy issues, I'm serious
JJ: LMAOOO💀💀
Emily: THATS TOO FUNNY BYE😭 DEAD IM DEAD
Derek: how would you know hopscotch 🧐
Hotch: My dad hated me lol
Derek: who could hate bau dilf 🤤
Hotch: idk ask him why he beat me 👍
Emily: ..sorry I laughed 💀
Y/n: ^ NO ME TOO BC WHYD HE PUT THE THUMBS UP 😭😭💀
Reid: Do we all have daddy issues?
Rossi: I'll answer for you all and say yes, most definitely on some level or another
Garcia: Bossman.. are you alright?
Hotch: Yeah
Emily: now I feel bad whyd you ruin the mood wtf
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
