The Nerd's Secret |Ongoing|

☫ Chapter 36 ☫

t/w see a/n for more details

☫ Chapter 36 ☫

I decided to not think about anything pertaining to my private life as I drowned myself in the super drug case.

     If I ignore something long enough, then at some point, is the problem really there? Schrodinger's cat kind of thing. Time heals and all that. It's a thing. Sure. Physics and psychology, right? I know there's something flawed in the rationale. I'm excruciatingly aware of it and yet, I'm pointedly ignoring it. Unfortunately, that appeared to be a nearly impossible task because the super drug case, in fact, happened to pertain to my life on an intimate level which I wasn't quite comfortable unraveling.

     I still haven't let the new knowledge fully sink in. That being Dr. Robertson. My unofficial mentor and my official boss, with his unknown agenda, is the kingpin of the super drug base and plan. There's a difference when the proof of a theory is staring at you right in the face. I've entertained the notion and connection to Dr. Robertson and the super drugs but...to see it in action.

     It's making my stomach churn. Even so, I'd much rather think about this than everything else. If I think about the details of everything else I'll most likely cry. That's not something I'd like to experiment on.

     So there, this has been my weekend. Attempting to come to terms with Dr. Robertson and his apparent villainous activities while shoving away any thoughts of my fight with Jude and Jeff. In a way, I was preparing for today. Monday. I won't be able to hide in my room anymore.

     Today I'll be seeing Jude at school and Dr. Robertson at the internship. Then there's Jeff driving me to school. Not necessarily in that order. You know that, sorry. I--never mind. I'm not going to think about it. It's not important.

     "Let's go," Jeff said with no feeling.

     He grabbed some snacks and motioned for me to follow him. I was going to, but as we passed the living room, with the TV on, my eyes landed on the screen which aired the news. I tilted my head in interest at the mention of super drugs. I inched closer, having trouble seeing the screen clearly. I breathed in relief when my presence went unnoticed by grandma and grandpa.

     I just want to see what they have to say about the current events of the super drugs.

     "Cases have significantly dropped. It seems that fewer teenagers and young adults are acquiring the super drug. Last night, witnesses on the scene report--"

     Behind me, I could hear Jeff repeating himself. "Let's go," he said and this time I could sense an emotion attached. Though, I can't confirm what sort of emotion exactly.

     I didn't answer him, fully engrossed in the news. I continued to watch and held on to every word spoken.

     Isn't this what Dr. Robertson was talking about? They had planned to lay low so as not to arouse suspicion but in truth, they're planning a wide distribution by Spring Break. Reluctantly, I had to respect the thought process. Spring Break is a perfect time to sell drugs. Not that I would know personally, but everyone knows what goes on during Spring Break. At least, if movies can be considered as a source of such claims.

     What's Dr. Robertson really thinking? How does one convince themselves that this is somehow altruistic? I know that's what Dr. Robertson is doing. He knows the effects of drugs. So what does this mean for him? I wonder if our exchange of opinions about the super drug had any effect on him. I'm wondering a lot of things when it comes to Dr. Robertson.

     To be perfectly honest, I'm terrified to see him later today.

     "You're ignoring me."