11:11 [Miche Zacharius x Reader]

How to warm a room?

The missions with your new team were more fun than you thought. Going beyond the walls with this squad brought you indescribable sensations. Gelgar was a really good mentor showing you the right techniques to increase your speed, allowing you to be more effective in attacking the neck of the titans. His techniques against the titans were as effective as his love for alcohol, for example with him you were able to discover where your limit was.

As the missions progressed, you had developed a strong relationship with Nanaba. Although her skills in the field were exceptional, it was your discussions that warmed your heart. Similar to you, Nanaba had experienced a lot of suffering with her father. Since then, she still has reflexes that prevent her from getting close to certain men. During your discussions with her, memories came back to you of your mother. You don't remember clearly what the circumstances were, but when your mother decided to separate from your father, she also decided to leave you behind. Without a word, without a letter, overnight your mother disappeared from the family picture.

These memories, strangely buried deep inside you, brought you much suffering. Some nights you found yourself dreaming of this woman, running behind her, imploring her to wait for you, not to abandon you. You couldn't lose anyone. On those nights you felt compelled to go out and get some fresh air.

That night, one of your worst nightmares had woken you up. You were once again running after the woman whose approval and kindness you wanted so badly. You were on that street, which you knew but couldn't put a name to. You were walking behind her, without turning around she was asking you all these questions:

- Is he worth it Y/N?

- Why are you trying to save him, Y/N?

Your steps became heavy.

- Are you so different from me Y/N? For your own pleasure you decided to abandon them, didn't you? You preferred to come here, and leave them alone, without a word, without a letter, right?

You came across an intersection, on your left, a man calling you his daughter and begging you to come home. On your right another guy, younger, telling you that his heart is shattering and that he doesn't understand why you left him behind when things were going so smoothly. Each of them was reaching up to you, begging, begging, begging to come home, to your world. The woman in front of you was slowly turning towards you. Don't. Your heart was going to explode. Don't. "You are like me, leaving people alone, to be on your own and left at the end, all, alone". DON'T.

You woke up sweaty and out of breath. Out, you needed to go out. On your way out someone caught your eye. Miche was in the middle of the yard, alone, standing contemplating something in front of him. He sniffed twice before turning to you. You automatically lowered your gaze, then returned to him, still looking at you.

He tilted his head to the right, trying to figure out why, at this late hour, you were out in your pajamas. Something was wrong, your smell was different. He decided to come closer to you to understand the reasons for your concern that he had sensed.

-Problem of sleep can be? he broke the silence.

-That must be it, you tried to answer while catching your breath. Same for you, Miche?

-More a question of habit.

He paused, inhaled and turned to you.

-You know what happened in 845, four years ago?

-The fall of the wall Maria...

-Hmmm. I still have trouble sometimes. Very few people I knew survived that fall. A great failure for humanity, don't you think?

-I... yes, you didn't continue, you knew he had more to say.

-So, sometimes I need to get out and breathe around. I want to make sure that there are no titans around. How they got here so quickly and left so quickly, we weren't prepared, so now I need to make sure that my loved ones are safe.

He gently turned to you and took your hand. He brought it to his nose and breathed in for long seconds. His eyes looked at yours.

- Your smell soothes me, Y/N, so when I feel it change so much, I have a worry that rises too.

Still with your hand close to his face, you did not leave his gaze. You wanted to talk to him about your worries, your fears. Yes, you were afraid of everyday life, but some of your fears were still impossible to describe. You yourself could not understand them. Without you knowing it, a wave of emotions began to overflow, and tears slowly appeared on your face, lit by the moon. Miche said nothing. Slowly he took your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it tenderly. Several times. Your smell was precious to him, the wind passing through your hair, sending him a stream of it. Leaving your hand, he drew you to him, grabbing your neck. Your face was now stuck against his chest, his head in your hair, smelling you. Your head resting on his chest at the level of his heart, you knew that this sound, this beat, was your daily motivation. Boom. Boom. Boom. Your sole motivation. You closed your eyes and tried to feel your heart wanting to echo his.

Your embrace began to loosen. The coldness settled between you, but your being was burning. His too. His hand finally came to rest on your right cheek.

- We'll have to decide to go to bed anyway, don't you think? He chuckled.

-Hmmm...was the only sound you could make.

Miche let go of your cheek and ran his hand through his hair, trying to come down from his cloud that didn't belong. At any moment, if you told him that you didn't want to sleep and stay with him, he wouldn't hesitate. You wouldn't have slept, he would have ended up embracing you, in his room, in his bed, warm, erasing the bad dreams keeping you awake. He was trying, really, to keep his cool. It was hard.

You finally decided to look up at him. His breathing stopped. You needed to leave he thought strongly. Go now, he didn't have no resolution right now.

-Good night, Miche, you finally said.

You left his gaze, turned your back and went back to your room.

Do not turn back, do not turn back, do not turn back, you thought really strongly. If you turned and he was there you would abandon yourself to him, embracing him, drawing him into your room and as you took off his clothes, and he yours, preventing your skin from coming into contact, you would erase his worries and reassure him that his loved ones will always be safe.

You finally slammed the door of your room without having turned your back, he returned to his and leaned against his door trying to catch his breath. He had to regain control now, he was your superior, you trusted him, and he trusted you. But as he closed his eyes, he desired he had done something. His room was cold, and he wished he had never known how to warm it up.