Tie. Tie. Tie

Chapter 7

April 10, 2016

"You look beautiful, honey," my mom smiles at me. My hair was set on my right shoulder, uniform ironed, and my face masked with makeup. Anyone would be able to say that a girl who has perfect skin, well clothes is beautiful. They don't care if there are scars beneath the skirt or two-pound bags under that glitter.

"Thanks, I guess," I smile at my mother. I added the last part under my breath making sure my mother didn't hear it. I refuse to make eye contact with my mom for more than a few seconds for my safety. If she sees that I wear makeup, she'll see my eyebags, swollen lips, and pale cheeks. If she sees my real self, she'll hate me. Dad will never look at me the same again. I will be labelled-

"Hurry up and eat, you're going to be late," my mom's voice cuts my thoughts. I give her a small smile and hurry to leave the kitchen. "Your dad is taking me out on a date tonight. Don't stay up too late and finish your homework. Money for dinner is on the dining table so don't fight over it." I pause when my mother explains it and turn around to nod at her but decide against it halfway.

I go to my room to grab my bag for school but something else catches my attention. Everything in my room is normal but my closet door seems to be staring back at me. Not like how in horror movies someone is standing in the protagonist's closet waiting to kill them, end their life. Something that has successfully stayed out of my head for a few days has made its way back.

I walk to my closet and grab the handle in a death grip. I want to look at Zeke's gift one more time. The last time I saw it was my first time. I look at my phone to see that I have approximately ten minutes until school starts.

"Fuck it," I mumble before sprinting out the door and to school. I want to get there before Zeke so I don't have to see him. My bag is held on my shoulder by one strap. One of my hands clenched it hard while the other was bent by my side. My shoes bang against the pavement as the cold morning air burns my throat. I suck in as much oxygen as I can to get that feeling again. The cold, crisp, early air.

April weather has the most mood swings you can think of. It's the only month where the school isn't precise about our winter or summer uniforms. It's the best excuse not to wear my tie.I make my way to the school gate and smooth down my skirt and t-shirt. I fix my blazer and put both backpack straps over my shoulders before heading in with a fake smile plastered on my face. I replace my blouse with my t-shirt and remove my tie.

School passes as it has been since...that night. Smile here and there, try to pay attention, and play with my food so no one suspects anything. Zoey complains about not being able to buy something and Adriana says something about how she can't go somewhere because of a family function.

If only someone was able to tell them how innocent their problems are. Or maybe mine are just too wrong. Thoughts like these fill my mind all day until I get home and lay on my bed listening to music. Lights off, volume up, eyes closed and earbuds in. Why couldn't life always be like this? Oh right, cause life ain't a fucking book.

"Timmy," a faint yet irritating voice entered my ears along with the music. I didn't bother turning, knowing it's gonna be Lucifer's pet. "Can I come in?" I wanted to tell him no and to get lost but my energy was already down. Does he always have to talk to me when my B12 seems down?

I turn off the music and take out my earbuds. I stood up and walked towards the door where Zeke's face poked through the tiny gap in the doorway. The darkness of my room made it hard to see his face but once I opened the door, the hallway light showed every inch of his face. Zeke stood up and gave me a sheepish smile. His eyes looked up and down my body and I followed his gaze to see what he was looking at.