The Badboy, the Catfish & Me

One

I rested my forehead against the open textbook. Didn't Valentino catch the hint? I let him have my phone number a week after we met at the beginning of the school year. Yeah, I told him he could only use it for school-related stuff, but still! How much more of a sign did he need to know I had the biggest crush on him?

Hearing the jingle of my dad's keys from the front door, I swiped a quick layer of Vaseline over my lips, put the textbook away, and followed my dad.

"Is it okay I didn't say bye to Mama?" I asked.

"Yeah. I don't think she'd hear you, anyway," Baba added in a softer voice, rubbing his chin that sported a short beard a few shades lighter than the dark curls on his head.

I slipped into a pair of flats, tossing my bag into the backseat with Baba's work briefcase. The warm April air made me hesitate to get into the car. It was hard to think how gloomy the house was when the rest of the world was so bright.

Ducking to get in, I sank into the car seat and closed my eyes. Baba said the travel prayer, and I followed along in my head. He switched on the radio connected to his playlist. My favorite song was playing, written by two Muslim women and sung with just vocals, and I imagined myself at a seaside cottage in a flowing white dress, pretending I had a lover to sing it to.

I used to believe love was a storm—

We'd tear apart the darkness

And raise up the ground;

I never thought I could withstand it

But you were my thunder

And I was your lightning—

So I let the sky touch the seas

Let the winds howl at the trees;

What I didn't realize

Was that you were drifting away from me...

Now every time I cross the open sea

The sky whispers a desperate plea:

Bring back the ocean,

And bring back the winds;

But you were the sun who broke up our clouds,

The anchor that kept me a-ground

Why can't we love like a storm again?

Why can't we love like a storm again?

I used to believe love was a storm,

I used to believe we could tear apart the darkness

And raise up the ground;

I never thought I could withstand it

But you were my thunder

And I was your lightning—

I used to

I used to

...believe in our love.