An Unfortunate Tale

Knockout Girl

Part 4: Accidental War

I was at the beach, and I was burying my girlfriend's body because of course the police would break into her house and find her body and arrest me. I buried her next to my jackhammer, so she could lie with the very thing that killed her. I was watching the sunrise while being next to her dead corpse "Goodbye, my love." I said. I then walked away, going back to my apartment. Meanwhile, Kyle, Hickey, and Logan were at Kyle's house, which was finished from whatever he needed done there. Hickey and Logan were waiting for Kyle to come out. "Man, what is he doing?" Logan asked. "I don't know, something." Hickey responded. The two were watching a show about animals, and how they mate. "Man, that elephant has a big cock." Hickey said. Logan then laughed. "Man, this show is basically animal porn." Logan said. However, Kyle then came out. "What the hell were you doing in there?" Hickey asked. Kyle then acted a bit nervous. "Oh, just enjoying my time with her." Kyle responded. The two knew that there was something up with him. "Well, let's go, we can't be late." Kyle said. While he was in the kitchen making toast, Hickey and Logan went into Kyle's room. "Well, let's see what he's really doing." Hickey said. They saw his wife's corpse under a blanket. Logan then went to it. "Well, let's remove this." Logan said. Logan then removed the blanket. Logan and Hickey were then shocked. Logan then almost fainted. Hickey couldn't believe it. "Oh my God, he was having sex with her!" Hickey yelled. The two couldn't handle the site, since cum was all over her corpse. "Well, do you think he knows about the fact that we know about this?" Logan asked. "Well, I don't think so, he's probably too deaf to hear us." Hickey responded. Hickey then turned around and saw Kyle standing in front of him with a menacing face. "Oh hey Kyle, we were just looking at this beautiful corpse that you brought home." Hickey said. "Oh, I see you don't believe in the freedom of sex." Kyle said. Hickey and Kyle were basically ready to have a fight, the verbal way. "You are fucked in the head." Hickey said. "No, you are." Kyle said. "Why do you think that's okay?" Hickey asked. "Well, I can do what I want with her." Kyle responded. "Well, have fun being behind bars for doing necrophilia." Hickey said. "That was not a crime, but a freedom." Kyle said. "That makes no sense." Hickey said. "I know, but I don't care." Kyle said. "So you are stupid." Hickey said. "Well, you are a lot more stupid than I am." Kyle said. "Guys, stop." Logan said. "Shut up, Logan." Kyle said. "Hey, stop it." Hickey said. "No, just shut up." Kyle said. "ENOUGH!!!" Hickey yelled. The whole room was shook. Hickey had to breathe for a bit. "Let's just end this, because World War 3 will start if we continue this." Hickey said. Kyle then agreed. "Okay, let's go back." Kyle said. The three then began to leave. But then out of nowhere, a container with a purple liquid came out of nowhere and started spraying gas. The three then turned around. "What the hell?" Hickey said. Logan then picked it up, and it said knockout gas on the back. "Man, I can't wait for your wife to become knocked out." Hickey said. "But she's dead." Kyle said. "It's a joke, dumbass." Hickey said. "Guys, just stop before I kill you both." Logan said. The three then fell down on the floor. Meanwhile, I came back to my apartment room, and I was glad to be back. "Ah, the nice breeze from my room is back." I said. I then decided to sit down, and I was more relaxed than ever. I looked up to appreciate the green ceiling. But then I looked down, and I saw a letter on the table. "What is this?" I asked myself. I picked it up, and read it. "Dear Guy, we will be gone for a bit because Kyle needs to find his dead wife because he needs to do, well something, so understand that after you kill your girlfriend, we may not be here, but we will come back, just wait, from your good friend, Logan." I read. I then noticed something at the bottom. "Also, I think the TV is broken." I read. I then knew that my friends could be in trouble because sure he wrote that they will most likely come out safe, but I don't expect that from those three. I had to search for them. I got up from my chair and ran down the hallway to the elevator, so I can search for my three friends. "Well, I may have killed my girlfriend, but I will save my friends." I said. "Who are you talking to?" Some janitor said. "I'm a voice in your head, so stay quiet." I responded. Meanwhile, the three woke up, but instead of being in Kyle's house, they were in a weird cement prison cell. "Man, why are we in the future?" Kyle asked. "I don't know, but this place does seem very unusual." Hickey responded. "Well, it's just us three, but we should all find a way out of here, even if it requires us to use our hands to dig through." Logan said. "Hey, it's nice to see you three in here too." Someone said. The three of them knew that voice, and as soon as they turned their heads, they saw Phineas and Ferb. "What, why are you two in here?" Kyle asked. "Oh, we were all watching Madagascar 2, but then someone threw some container, and we all thought someone was smoking purple marijuana, but instead, we saw pitch black." Phineas said. "Well, that happened to us too." Hickey said. "Well, who did it?" Kyle asked. Phineas then travelled through eight dimensions... Oh, wait, we aren't listening to The Orb. Phineas then thought for a bit. "Well, maybe a pedophile did it." Phineas responded. "Well, theoretically speaking, that is probably 99 percent false, because we are adults." Ferb said. "But you look young." Kyle said. The two were then silent. "Well, we act like adults." Phineas said. "Well, let's just hope that someone will get us out of here." Kyle said. But then the gate opened, and someone with two guards was in front of the door. And then the person in the middle came into the cell. It was a woman with orange hair. She looked at us all with a mean-looking face. "Man, she looks mad." Logan said. "Well, I think Phineas and Ferb are busted now." The woman said. "Wait, you know them?" Hickey asked. "Well, she is our sister, Candace." Phineas responded. "Wait, if you captured them, then why did you capture us too?" Kyle asked. "Well, Phineas and Ferb started a cult, and I needed to bust them, so I created a knockout gas made from Lysol and Gorilla Grape weed, and then I captured them thanks to the knockout effect it has, but I also captured you three just because I thought your actions were pretty disgusting." Candace replied. "Yeah, but Candace dick fit in your mouth?" Hickey asked. "Yeah, real fucking funny, homeless dude from Filipino." Candace said. "What, I tried." Hickey said. "Well, what are you going to do with us, keep us in here and let us rot?" Kyle asked. "No, in fact, I'm going to have you all strip naked, rip your balls off, get torched like a hot tortilla, and then have you all disposed into the local recycling station, so everyone can see your barbecued naked bodies." Candace said. Everyone then had wide-eyed faces. "Okay." Kyle said. "Why can't you just give us a hug and then we can leave, that sounds perfect." Phineas said. "No, that sounds like something a fucking grade one student would say, so I will fucking torture you all..." Before she finished, I broke in through the walls, and everyone was then shocked. "I know you're going to fuck them up." I said. Everyone then had nothing to say. "Yo Guy, it's nice to have you back." Hickey said. With my presence, I knew that the orange-haired girl was basically scared shitless.