How to be a Girl

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"Hey -- mmph -- Samus, you gonna eat that?"

The bounty hunter looked up from her lunch to meet the blue eyes of the famous mercenary, Ike. His mouth was crammed with chicken as he easily gobbled it up.

She shook her head and shoved her plate of mashed potatoes towards him. "Nah, you can have it." Samus said as Ike beamed with happiness.

"Aw, thanks! Your the best, man."

Wincing, Samus stood up, realizing how much words like bro and man seemed to affect her now. "Uh, no problem, Ike." She said, walking out of the room quickly.

The huntress thought of the Hylian princess's words from yesterday. Marth, her longtime crush, actually liked her back, but at a price.

He only had a thing for the girly type, which was the total opposite of what Samus was.

She was a natural tomboy.

She hated nail polish, makeup, anything to do with shopping, and jewelry. Samus was the kind of girl who wasn't afraid to get down and dirty, she didn't care if she broke a nail or two.

And that was exactly the problem.

Marth apparently liked when girls cared about those things.

Which is why her best, and only, girl friend, Zelda, was going to help her. After blurting out the surprise of the crush to Samus, the princess shooed out the huntress to think of a plan.

The Hylain girl wanted to do a makeover. On THE Samus Aran. It was absurd to even think of such nonsense, yet Samus couldn't think of anything better.

The blonde huntress made her way to the Hyrulean monarch's room, now more anxious than ever. That, and slightly excited.

She knocked in the door twice, waiting for some kind of response, when she heard it from inside. "Come in!" Yelled a voice from inside the room.

Opening the door, Samus let out a loud sigh. "Hey, Zel."

The princess looked up from her book. She closed the book shut and set it aside, looking at the huntress almost expectantly. "Hello, Samus." There was a slight mischievous tone in her voice.

The bounty hunter walked over and plopped onto the princess's bed, getting comfortable. "Did you come up with anything?" The blonde hunter said, sounding almost nervous.

"Yes, I did."

"Well? What is it?" The huntress pressed on while Zelda giggled.

The Hylian girl stood up, waving her hands around as magic swirled around her fingers. "I have devised a plan to help you become more lady-like."

"And?" Samus motioned for her to continue. "I already knew that."

Zelda sent the blonde girl a small glare before continuing. "As I was saying, I've put it among myself to create lessons for you."

Samus dead panned. "Lessons?What is this, school? Zelda, I'm not a kid. Just tell me what I need to do, and let's be on with it."

"Oh, Samus. You just don't understand. Learning to be a girly girl isn't going to happen overnight. There are things that need to be frequently taught so that you will remember."

"Really now? Like fucking what?" Samus challenged.

The Hylain princess leaned forward and flicked the huntress on the forehead. The small thwack made Samus jump back from the slight pain.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?!"

Thwack!

"Are you serious? For fucks sake--"

Thwack!

"Jeez, okay! Stop already!" Samus belted out, Zelda's fingers inches away from the huntress's now red forehead.

"Swearing is an example. It is very unlady-like."

The bounty hunter shoved the small hand away and grumbled. "Whatever, just go on with your lesson plans."

Zelda simply grinned in triumph and gladly continued. "Each week we will cover something girly. For example, this week, I will be teaching you about fashion and style. Such as, all the latest trends, and how to do your hair."

"How to do my hair? I can easily do my hair."

The Hylian shot her a glare. "Really? Can you curl your hair? Straighten it? Braid it?"

Silence met her ears.

"Exactly. Now just keep silent." The princess said. "Now, to start again."

"Every day, at three, I want you to meet me here so we can do our lessons." Zelda instructed as Samus grunted in disapproval.

The huntress sighed before speaking. "When do we start?"

"Today."

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