Chapter 1

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I awoke from a restless night's sleep to my alarm clock chirping in my ear. I groaned as I rolled over to my side in search of the button that would make my suffering stop. After a few halfhearted failures, I grabbed my pillow and shoved it on top of my head as an attempt to drown out the noise.

As soon as the sound started to quiet, my door burst open. "Rach! Wake up! Mom's driving us to school in ten!" I sighed and rose from my position, pillow falling down to my lap.

"Get out of my room, now! Or I'll smother you with this!"

I lifted up my pillow and threw it across the room. My little sister slammed the door shut and ran back into the hallway.

Just as the pillow reached the door and dropped to the floor, I realized my alarm clock was still squealing at me. I slammed my hand down on top of it, and managed to successfully shut it off this time.

I exhaled as I glanced around my room. Pink, very pink. Too pink, in fact. What in the world was fourteen year-old me thinking when I chose the color-palette for my room? Sixteen year-old me was not having it... I'd make a mental note to mention that to my mom later.

My head felt foggy and my eyes tingly, itching for me to close them again. I rubbed my eyes hoping to steady my thoughts. Oh. School. I have school today. After a seemingly short summer, I was certainly not prepared to brace myself for school. Or, as my mom would say, 'A wonderful opportunity at an education that you should be grateful for.'

I glanced over to my clock and realized how late I really was. A perfect start to a perfect day, I thought. I finally pulled myself out of bed and stumbled over to my closet. I opened the doors and remembered that I had previously chosen my outfit for today. I put on a white shirt, and tucked it into my orange and white plaid skirt. I then threw on my brown cardigan in case there was a breeze in the air. As I buttoned up the cardigan, I grabbed my brown boots and slipped them on my feet quickly. Now we're getting somewhere.

I dashed over to my vanity and combed out my long, brown hair. I'd been begging my mom to let me get highlights forever, but she wouldn't let me get any. She thought it would, 'permanently ruin my hair,' or something. I really needed to get it cut too, but I needed to focus on getting ready. I put on some mascara, then threw on concealer so I would look semi-presentable.

"Rachel lets go! We're going to be late!" I heard my mom scream from the bottom of the stairs. "Coming!" I shouted in response as I grabbed my purse, and ran out of my door. Wait, perfume. I backtracked a few steps and squirted some on, then glanced at myself in the mirror admiring my work. Not so shabby, I thought to myself as I heard my mom beep the horn of the car. I ran out of my room and out to the car ready for my first day of junior year. As soon as I opened the car door, my mom was already yelling at me.

"Rachel, I told you to set your alarm for six o'clock! It's nearly seven! You know what your issue is? You never listen unless it involves something that you want.

"Now because of it, you're going to be late on your first day of school. You and your sister! Do you even care about anything other than yourself?"

I paused, then replied eagerly, "Well I'm pretty fond of clothes."

"Okay that is it young lady! Give me that attitude one more time, I dare you."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. It wasn't like I was trying to make everyone late, and we weren't even that late! Last time I checked, five minutes wasn't the end of the world. I heard my mom sigh as she began to talk again.

"Sorry, we're all just a bit stressed this morning. Jessie honey, are you excited for middle school?" I saw my sister shift towards her window.

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm really looking forward to seeing all my friends, but I'm kind of nervous about the older kids. Rach, do you think they'll be nice?"

"Nah, not really. You'll probably end up in the bottom of a trash can, or stuck in some old gym locker by the end of the day."

"What?!" I could see my sister's face had filled with panic. My mom stared back at me.

"Rachel Marie Jones! What's gotten into you lately? Jess sweetie, you'll be fine. I guarantee that you'll make it through the day trash free. As for you, Rachel, I may just have to drop you off and dump you in a dumpster myself."

I could hear my sister laughing as I glared out of my window. What has gotten into me lately? I guess just not enough sleep, but I immediately felt bad for everything I said this morning.

"I'm sorry that-"

"We'll talk about it later, okay?" I paused for a moment.

"K," I mumbled, feeling unsatisfied with myself.

Why did Mom always have to do this? She always makes me feel bad about something and never allows myself a chance to fix it. Ever since Dad left she'd done that.

And then she wonders why I always get so annoyed with her... My sister asked, "So, are you excited to finally be a junior?" I sighed.

"Oh, I'm just leaping up and down and doing cartwheels full of excitement."

I kept my eyes focused on the outside of my window, watching the trees fly by. I noticed my mom began to say something, but then she stopped abruptly.

I glanced over at my sister, who had a sad expression in her eyes. I couldn't leave her like that before her first day of school.

"I guess eating off campus will be alright. You know I've been dying to do that since I was your age." I poked her and she started to laugh. I grinned at her then glanced back out of my window.

It wasn't a complete lie, I was eager to get away from school for some portion of the day. Our school allowed juniors and seniors to eat off campus for some reason. Something to do with space issues, and they didn't have a huge budget either.

As I sat there I thought about what it would be like to be one of the many trees we passed. I mean they lived their whole lives in one spot that they didn't even get to pick.

That's kind of how I felt though, like I was born and raised in one spot with no true purpose or freedom. Maybe that's why trees are so wrinkly, because they're all so stressed about how they'll never have any real freedom of their own. They should make tree foundation.

"Have a good day honey!" My mom's voice brought me out of my daydreams. Sweet moon, I really was tired. After a couple moments of silence, my mom tried to talk to me again.

"What are you thinking about?" She usually asks me this when she sees me zoned out.

"Tree foundation."

"Wh- I don't even want to know." She waited a moment, then began to speak again.

"I'm trying. You know how hard it is for me without your dad. It just bothers me when you take a tone with me after all that I've done for you and your sister."

Wow. She was really trying to play the dad card. He'd been gone for eleven years, and we were just fine. My sister didn't even remember him.

I was five when he left, and she was just one. Mom was such a mess that I practically raised her. She didn't get that though, she never would.

"I know Mom, sorry."

I tried to sound as genuine as possible, because I couldn't handle getting into any more trouble.

I knew that my mom tried at least, and I was grateful for that. It just annoyed me that Dad was always her weakness, her fallback.

I mean, who abandons two of their kids? We were better off without him, and I just wished she could see that.

I felt the car stop moving, waking me from my thoughts.

"Have a great first day honey."

"Yeah Mom, thanks."

I grabbed my purse and climbed out of the car, slamming the door shut.

I looked around at everyone entering the school. I knew I was forgetting something...

How on earth did I remember my purse, but not my backpack?

Hopefully the teachers wouldn't assign anything that required writing. Or paper. Or highlighters. Or math, or reading, or thinking in general.

Yep. I'm screwed.

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