Sorry | Murphamy AU | vol.1

2. Like morbid butterflies

We look at each other. I look at him, and although he's looking at me, I don't think he's actually paying attention.What's going on in that head of his? Whatever it is, it must be something sad, because as he looks down at his desk with an upset face and I see his jaw set.

I bite my lip, hearing the final bell ring. I pull up from my seat, in no hurry whatsoever to meet Murphy, who was the first to leave the room. I want to buy as much time as possible, growing more nervous with each step. I pass a corner to see him standing there, leaning on the metal surface. He's tapping his foot rapidly on the floor and picking at his nails. I walk up to him, anxiously chewing the inside of my cheek. Maybe the pain will dull the ache of my fast heartbeat.

"Hey Murphy, ready to go?"

Murphy P.O.V.

I don't even hear Bellamy walk up to me, so hearing his voice makes me jump out of my skin. "Oh, h-hey Bellamy."

***

Okay, so the situation isn't as awkward as I had planned it to be my head. Anxiety's a jerk, just like every human I know. I can't socialize with anyone anymore without imagining the worst case scenario. We make small talk, which is harder than I'd like to admit, but I survive.

We stop at a house and holy shit. I'm surprised by it's size. It's very modern and looks to be clean, unlike my house where my mother's empty pill and beer bottles litter the floor like toys in a child's room. I would give anything to have a house like this. The stone pathway that we walk up to get to his front door probably costs more than my mother is worth. Thinking about her makes me grind my teeth in anger and frustration.

Bellamy gives me a weird look. "You know you can come in, right?" he asks in his gruff baritone, and I blush, nodding. I walk in, I take off my boots, and we begin to head upstairs to his room. I follow two steps behind him.

As we walk down the hall, we pass several rooms, one of which- which I'm assuming is his sister's, has been left open. The interior is neat and is toned a bright pink. She must be young.

"Sorry... Octavia never cleans it." Bellamy chuckles while closing the door. I furrow my eyebrows. I saw two toys on the carpet and I begin to wonder if he's as high maintenance as this house. I don't think we'll get along if that's the case.

I note the calm, yet intense silence.

"Where is everyone?" I blurt, silently praying that he doesn't think that it's a weird question.

"Oh, Octavia's pretty into karate and she has tournaments out of town sometimes. They're gone for the weekend." he explains, sitting on his bed, patting next to him for me to come and join. I walk over, sitting with a comfortable distance between us. He nudges me and I tense at the contact. I don't like it when people do that. If you have something to say, say it. Don't fucking touch me.

"Hey, no need to be tense," he advises, quietly chuckling, and I give him a shy smile, trying to act as normal as possible. Bellamy starts pulling out his science books, and I give myself a mental beating for being so fucking awkward.

He talks about certain ideas, and I hear his voice- I really do, but I'm not actually listening. I look at the faint freckles that sparkle his already tanned complexion, and how his curly jet-black bangs rest on his forehead. His hair always has that messy look and it really does suit him. He, more than half the time gels it and I know the girls dig that, but I prefer this, not that my opinion matters. My opinion is worth less than a dollar, keeping in mind that the dollar is weak right now.

"So... what do you think?" he asks. I blink a few times, pulling myself out of my daze. I scramble in my mind for words.

"What?" I ask, now really regretting not listening to him.