꧁Iɴsᴏᴍɴɪᴀ ꧂

11

TW: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, DEATH ETC.

Y/N's POV
Me and Wilbur decided that I should be the only one to go out from time to time just in case. He'll still go out aswell but way, and I mean, way fewer times. We can still go out together as long as people don't know that he's still staying at my house. But it was the best we could think of. Soon, it was 11 o'clock, and both of us were getting tired. I was yawning left and right, and so was he. We put Oreo in his cage, gave him some water and dressed up. Today was an insane day. So many things happened, I'm surprised I'm not overwhelmed yet. Okay, maybe I am. But at least i haven't thought of jumping off a bridge yet. Haha..

"Hey Wil.."

"Hm?"

"What would you do if I died?"

"Woah, that was an unexpected question."

"Yeah.. nevermind."

"No, I don't mind answering."

"Okay, I guess.."

"Well I'd cry, I'd cry alot. I'd visit you everyday. I'll probably have to take care of this house and your dog. I don't know, life would be unbearable without you Y/N." Wilbur half smiled. I could tell he was concerned.

I showed a sad smile, feeling bad.

"Don't worry, I'm not having those thoughts.. I was just curious." I said, resting my head on my hand.

"Whew, thank god." Wilbur sighed and laughed softly.

I looked away. I maybe was having those thoughts. But for Wil, I'll try and stop I guess.

He went to sleep on the couch, and smiled and said goodnight before turning the lights off.

"Are you sure you'll be okay without me, Y/N?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I softly smiled before walking towards my room.

I closed the door softly and locked it. I needed time to myself. I sat on the floor, cross-legged, and thought. BFF/N knew I had these thoughts.. are they trying to push me over the edge or something? Because she is taking it too far. Even attempting to push me over the edge is too far. I cursed under my breath. Well, I wouldn't want to say this but.. it's working. It's slowly pushing me over the edge. I am this close to jumping of a building 🤏. Aside from my dog, Wilbur and my dad. There is nothing to live for. I opened my desk drawer and see a blood-stained box cutter.

"Hello old friend." I whispered, tears slowly falling off my cheek.

I didn't want to do this. But the urge.. the urge to do it was strong. So I grabbed it. (WARNING. DETAILED IN A WAY- IF U HATE BLOOD OR STUFF LIKE THIS. SKIP. SKIP. SKIP.) I slowly cut my wrist, right over the fully healed scars. The blood slowly dripped off my wrist and onto the floor. I laughed quietly to myself, I deserved this, didn't I? Hah. Ofcourse I did. I sliced, and sliced. More and more blood dripping out. After a few more cuts, I thought that was enough. I placed the box cutter back in my desk drawer and washed the excess blood off. Hopefully Wilbur won't notice. A few tears fell onto the cuts, the salt from the tears, making the cuts sting. I hissed in pain. But shut myself up. Oh wait, nevermind. He can't hear me from that far away. Plus, my door is locked. I pulled my sleeves down to hide the scars, then I went to sleep..

-time skip to the next day-

Y/N's POV
I wake up with a soreness on both my arms. For a split second, I forgot about what I did last night. Funny how I was actually able to sleep last night. Maybe I should cut more, maybe I'll die from blood loss. Heh. I got out of bed to start the day. I took a quick shower, trying to ignore the stinging of these fucking scars. I dressed up in a baggy sweater to hide them. I then walked over to the living room to check on Wilbur. Surprisingly, he was already awake. He was sitting on the couch, scrolling through his twitter.

"Goodmorning Wil!" I greeted, waving.

"Mornin'." He smiled, waving back.

"So, what do you want to eat?" I asked him, crossing my arms.

"Eggs? Cooked in any way. If you have any."

"Yeah I have some in the fridge, and a few cartons. Any style? Are you sure?"

"Mega-sure."

"I have never heard you say mega before but okay." I snickered to myself.

I turn the gas on and pulled out my frying pan. I drizzled some oil and let it heat up. Then, I cracked 5 eggs into a bowl and added salt and pepper. After the oil heated up, I poured in the eggs. (Bro yn is making scrambled eggs okay- I cant write the cooking process anymore--)

I transferred the eggs onto 2 plates and set them on the table.

"There, eat!" I said, sitting down.

"Looks good, I haven't eaten scrambled eggs in a while." Wilbur smiled.

-time skip to them finishing their food-

Y/N's POV
"That was a great breakfast Y/N." Wilbur smiled.

"Glad you liked it." I smiled back.

"I just have a question."

"Hm? What is it Wil?"

"Why are you wearing a sweater? It's the middle of summer..?" Wilbur asked, confused

Shit. I'm so busted. I tried thinking if excuses, but came out with none.

"I don't know?" I laughed nervously.

"Yeah no, I don't trust that." Wilbur's eyes lowered.

"Uh.." My eyes darted to the side.

"Either you tell me what's going on, or I'll have to figure it out myself." Wilbur sighed.

"Fine, fine. It'll be easier if I just tell you now." I sighed heavily.

"Take your time. Don't worry." He sadly smiled.

I sighed before explaining.

"I..I c...cut.." I started (sorry for the stuttering :'<)

"No...don't tell me.." Wilbur's eyes widened.

I shut my eyes tightly, trying my best to stop the tears from falling.

"Y/N. Please...it's not what I think it is..." His eyes slowly turned glossier and glossier.

"I'm sorry.. everything is just so fucking overwhelming. Everything is happening at once and it's just so hard." I sobbed.

Wilbur stood up and hugged me tightly. My tears fell on his shoulder.

"I'm just so tired Wil.." I cried harder.

The harder I cried, the tighter he'd hug me.

"I'm so sorry you have to deal with this Y/N.." Wilbur sniffled.

"A..are you crying?" I quietly asked.

"M..maybe.." Wilbur sadly laughed.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this Wilbur."

"We'll deal with all of this together. Remember?"

"Yeah..together."

-End Of 11-

𝔸/ℕ
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. DO NOT DO ANY OF THE THINGS I WROTE IN HERE. YOU ARE LOVED. PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP IF YOU NEED IT. IF YOU NEED ANYONE TO TALK TO, MY INSTAGRAM IS @kyuvill MY DMs ARE ALWAYS OPEN. JUST PLEASE DON'T DO ANYTHING THAT I WROTE IN THIS :( Now..dont forget to eat, drink and sleep well :(( even though I dont. Goodbye and you are loved. And thank you.

-Kyu