And now the only thing I have left of her, are the memories we shared.
Now we are only strangers with shared memories.
I wish I had not let the fear of losing her consume my mind. I wish I was strong enough to fight for the both of us, but I'm not. I know I'd lose.
I'm pathetic.
The insecurities I've been building up for years started to show the moment I realized I loved her with all my heart and soul. The fear of losing the only person I had left besides from my brother was another reason to why I did what I did.
After all we always have a choice, I just decided to ignore mine.
Was it worth it? No, not at all, in the end I didn't protect my feelings, I just caused more pain to the only person that had ever accepted me the way I am. That had looked at my flaws and loved me anyway.
She loved me for me, not for my money or looks. The same way I loved her for her, because no matter how beautiful she was, and believe me, she was ethereally beautiful, her personality was what attracted me.
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I LOOK AT THE OAK DOORS in front of me contemplating if I should knock or just go back to my room. I feel bad for doing this, for being selfish at the point of ignoring that I might hurt someone that I care just because of my wants.
I woke up a few minutes ago, sweating and shaking. I had a nightmare. And now I need to get those horrible memories out of my head. I need to forget and the only way I can think about how to do that right now, is being selfish and knocking on the door in front of me.
It's not like it would be totally my fault. If he wants to stop than he will. I won't force him into doing anything with me.
My hand forms into a fist and I raise it in front of my face. My knuckles made contact with the wood and now I couldn't come back.
Maybe he didn't hear it? Could I just turn my back and walk to my room?
My thoughts are interrupted by the door being opened. In front of me appears a shirtless Ezekiel, showing his six pack abs. He looks at me confused while I just awkwardly stand there waiting for him to let me in.
"Can I come in?" I ask quietly, a little above a whisper. He nods his head and moves to the side giving me space so I could enter the room.
As he closes the door I turn back and look at him, he was analyzing me. I need to forget everything. I need him.
(A/N - play the song and be prepared things are about to get heated)
