The side effects of Marcus King ( vol.1) COMPLETED

Ch 33 Have to let go

"But, ... you already have done all the arguments and the guest, the venue.." I said in hiccups.

"It doesn't matter...shh my child." She hugged me more deeply.

"I hurt Henry. He will be devastated..." I cried.

"He will be for a while but, I am sure he will understand." She comforted me.

We sat their for a while and I cried my heart out.

Thinking the people I hurt. Lying to myself. It was unnecessary. If I just had been true to myself. Saying yes to Henry when I knew I was in love with someone else. And no matter how much I run away, I knew I miss him. I just got scared. I couldn't put my trust in him thinking he might hurt me or break my heart. Moreover how his world is different from mine. How my love can hurt people. I didn't even listen to him. I shut him out. I didn't gave him any chance to reply explain. I was so afraid of falling... of getting hurt... of trusting... that I pushed him away. I lied to him that i don't have feelings for him. I lied about everything. And on top of that I blamed him for ruining my life and relationship with Henry. Anything i could do to push him away. Anger or denial. Anything to protect myself from falling for him. Cause I knew if I do, I won't able to stop myself. I will let this live consume me even if this love puts everyone in danger. And after all that I doubt he will like me anymore and it's okay. I am not asking for him to come back. I wish him well. But I can't live this lie anymore. I have to come clean about my feelings. To myself. To everyone.

I came home.

I directed went to our bedroom, I was living with Henry. I knew what I needed to do. What needed to be done. No more lying. No more hiding. I opened my cupboard and started packing my bags. I picked up the photo frame of us. A picture of us in college. He giving me a piggy back ride. We were so happy. I do care for him still now. I do love him. But it's not that love anymore. I kept that photo in my bag.

With few hours I was done packing. I kept my bag beside the door. I sat and waited for Henry to come home.

My heart was drowning with anxiety and sadness.

Because I knew I have to break his heart.

The door bell rang, pulling me off my train of thoughts. I took a deep breath and got up.

I opened the door and was welcomed with a bouquet of roses. "How is my soon to be wife?" He kissed my cheeks. He noticed the bags by the door. He gave me a confused stare.

This is going be a excruciating.

"Henry, let's take a seat."

He took the seat beside me on the sofa. "Henry, I am sorry but I cannot marry you."

He started laughing," is this a joke? Come Vi, it's not funny."

I touched his hand. "Henry... It's not a joke. We have been drifting apart for a while. And I thought if i could stick it out, we could go back to where we were but, it didn't... "

"Wait, Violetta what are you saying?"

I took a pause and spoke, "Henry I love you. And I still care for you but tell me, be truthful to yourself , are we the same people who we were when we met in college? Somewhere we grew up and that made us grow apart. "

"We are obviously not the same person anymore but Vi, I still love you." He said.

"Henry your in love with old Violetta whom you met in college but she is not here anymore. She doesn't like sit in the couch and watch tv ; no more date nights, she is not that girl anymore who is waiting for her man to come home. She wants something more. And it's wrong I know, selfish even, but I have to find out what she wants, that's the risk I am willing to take..."

"Vi, I know your not the same, nor am I. I even know I neglected us in the past. Our relationship has gone rough. And it's my fault to forget what we had and take you for granted, but I am here now. I am willing to try. Fix us." He pleaded.

I took off my ring and gave it back to him. "I am sorry Henry I want you to be happy and it's not fair to lie to you anymore. Cause I know I won't be able to give my fullest. You deserve to be with someone who loves you that way you deserve."

"Violetta..." i could hear the sadness and cry in his voice.

"I am sorry Henry." I placed the ring in his hand.

"I did expect it..." he said under his breath.

"What do you mean?"

He looked at me with a sad smile. "When you left for Paris, I felt I was losing you. When I came back home to our empty house that's when I realised that fool I had been. I knew I neglected you. I took you and our relationship for granted. I knew we were drifting apart. But I did nothing and let it pass by thinking it would be better soon. But that day during Nina wedding, when I saw that guy Marcus look at you and the way you look at him. I knew I lost you. " he paused to compose himself. His voiced cracked to whispered. My heart was breaking too. "You fell for him didn't you?"

With tears in my eyes I answered," I didn't plan too. I denied it. God knows I tried. I even tried to fall out of love with him, But I couldn't stop myself. It just happened..." I was feeling guilt of how could I do that to him. To hurt him like this.

He gave a sarcastic laugh," I kinda saw the way you both looked at eachother when you danced at the wedding and I thought if I seal the deal now, i could win you back. I was planning to propose to you when we come back but it seemed I had to act fast, but i wasn't fast enough I guess." He dug his face in his palms.

"Henry I am sorry to break your heart. I still love you. But I can't lie to myself anymore. It wouldn't be fair to us to be married like that." I cried.

He touched my face. "It's okay Vi, I can't deny that I am not angry at the son of a bitch who stole my love but it was partly my fault to let you be stolen."

I hugged him.

"You were my everything Henry. I still love you."

"I love you too Violetta, always will be."

We shared a one last kiss. And stayed in each-other embrace.

Something change.

We both grew, in our direction.

It's not like love wasn't there. But it just wasn't enough.

"I hope you find what your looking for..." Henry said.

"I hope you too."

I got up to pick my bags to walk out.

"Vi, even though I want you to be happy... but I am definitely gonna punch that guy when I see him again."

I gave him one last smile of approval.

I opened the door. "Goodbye Henry."

"Goodbye Violetta." He said holding his tears back. I didn't turn back to face him, cause my tears were also falling non stop.

We were together for 7 years. 5 years of college and 2 years after that. A long old love. It doesn't die that easily. It always remains with you.

Forever.