High Wind and Waves (Provincia de Marina Series #2)

Kabanata 31

"You're welcome..." I said, unsure if it was the proper reply. "It's my job to take care of her. Hindi ko naman siya hahayaang mawala bigla."

"It's not just about the job, Ada," agap niya. Mas lalong kumunot naman ang noo ko sa kaniyang sinabi.

He rubbed his nape a bit and smiled again, this time more charming than the first one. "What I'm saying is, you being her friend. That's what I am thankful for. Bigay siya talaga sa akin but I failed to take care of her and become her friend...or to even stay. I wish I could have but I failed to do that. Kaya salamat. I don't even know how to make it up to you." He chuckled.

"It's just difficult to admit to myself that I had been so boastful about things," dagdag niya. From the looks of it...he was trying to tell me something——more like trying to give me an explanation.

Parang lumindol ang aking dibdib sa kaniyang diretsong tingin sa aking mga mata. It was as if the blood in my veins rushed like birds in the forest rushing to their sanctuary. Napalunok ako at iniwas ang tingin sa kaniya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako kinakabahan.

This is what you want, right, Ada? His explanation? Heto na at mukhang ibibigay na kaya bakit parang ayaw mong pakinggan?

"I was feeling too high about myself. I thought it was normal to be proud of myself because I've achieved so much, even if I was just young. Siguro nga normal naman iyon sa batang katulad ko kasi I was more capable than the other kids. I was too ambitious, too."

Pansin ko ang panginginig ng aking kamay  habang ipinapasok lahat ng gamit ko sa bag. Bakit ba hindi ako mapakali?

Of course, Ada! You weren't expecting this! In fact, you've been doubting him all this time that's why you were confident that he won't explain himself at all.

"Ada, I know it's been so many years. Eight years to be exact," he uttered. I heard his footsteps behind me. Agad kong naisara ang aking bag sa taranta. May nahulog pa at kukunin ko na sana iyon nang hulihin ni Reeve ang aking braso.

My heartbeat jammed like a drill. Bawat tibok ay parang pinipigilan din ako sa paghinga. Dahan-dahan kong nilingon si Reeve. His eyes were gentle and sincere, I couldn't even look at them. Kasi kahit kumbinsehin ko ang sarili kong hindi totoo iyon, I couldn't judge his eyes.  I couldn't judge his pleading look as if he wants me to listen to every word.

"Please, don't go. Pwede bang pakinggan mo muna ako?" he said in a hushed whisper.

"What's there to listen, Reeve?" Nagbaba ako ng tingin. "Gaya ng sabi mo, it's been ten years. Ang tagal na kaya bakit mo pa kailangang mag-explain? And we were just kids back then. We were fools in love. We just thought we were but..."

"We?" he echoed. "Ada, I don't think it's 'we'. It's just me. I was in love with you and you weren't..." Litong-lito ang kaniyang tono.

Nilakasan ko ang loob. I met his confused stares. "We, Reeve. Before I left for my competition, my mind was clouded with your words. Iniisip ko kung pareho rin ba sa nararamdaman mo ang nararamdaman ko. I was still thinking of it even when I arrived at the venue. While I was at the track, kahit kinakabahan, a part of my mind had been thinking of you, still assessing my feelings."

Mapait akong ngumiti. "I was in love with you back then. At alam mo ba? kahit hindi pa tapos ang competition, parang gusto ko ng umuwi rito. Sayo. Kasi alam kong naghihintay ka at sa totoo lang, hindi nga ako makapaghintay noon na sabihin sa'yo."

"You could have told me on the phone, Ada. Nag-uusap naman tayo, diba?"

"You could have told me on the phone, Reeve, na aalis ka. Pero tinawagan mo ba ako? Hindi. Tinanong mo ba ako? Hindi. Just like my confession, I want you to hear it personally from me. Just like how you told me before I left. Gusto kong marinig mo na totoo ang sinasabi ko at totoo ang nararamdaman ko."