Different

72.

"Sounds great. You brought your bat with you?" I say, clueless as to where he would have put it.

"Yeah, it's been in my trunk ever since we played together. Will you be okay here with the girls?" he adds, more quietly and directed towards me.

I nod my head at him. "I think so. We're just going to tan on the beach and then go into town for a little shopping" I explain to him.

"Okay, call me if you need me and I'll be there" Jace says, pressing his lips onto mine gently. Once again I nod my head at him.

"Evans, let's go" Ben chirps in, already grabbing his baseball bat. 

"Alright, I'll see you later babe" my boyfriend says, and with one last kiss he's out the door.

Bree squeals in delight. "I've been looking forward to this, are you guys ready to get your tan on?" she says, taking both Sarah's and mine hand.

"Ready!" Sarah answers and we follow her out of the front porch door. Of course we could just lay by the pool, but we decide to go down to the ocean today. I take a look at Sarah and Bree and notice that these three days have made them tan already, while my skin is still looking pale. 

"You guys are tan already. It always takes me forever" I say, feeling slightly insecure about it. 

"What? I think you're a little tanner already!" Bree remarks, trying to make me feel better.

"Yeah! Tans are overrated anyway. I'm sure Jace doesn't even care" Sarah adds, as we place our towels in the sand.

I think of skinny Jessica with her fake tan right away. "I guess so" I say, sitting down on the towel. We all take our bottoms off and let the sun soak in. A good year ago I would've felt insecure about showing my body in front of others this way, but before attending college I lost about 25 pounds. I was really unhappy with myself back then and I decided that that's one thing I can change. I started counting calories and soon the pounds dropped until I was finally happy about my weight again. That little victory puts a smile on my face, the sound of the ocean only letting it grow bigger. My throat doesn't feel as tight anymore and I think I can finally focus on girls day. 

"What did you guys think of the last few days? Are you having a good time?" Bree asks us, turning around to lay on her belly. 

"Absolutely. This place is so beautiful" I answer right away, copying her. 

"Yeah! It was a great idea you had. But I've been looking forward to girls day too. I feel like being with Ben so much is putting a lot of pressure on our relationship" Sarah admits, clearly wanting to get that off her chest. 

"Really? How so?" Bree asks surprised. 

"We never usually spend this much time together since Ben lives a little further away. Sometimes I think it just gives us more time to fight about stupid things. Or maybe I'm just a little scared about the sudden commitment, I don't know" she answers. 

"Communication's everything, babe. Just tell him. I'm sure you two will figure it out" Bree says and I agree with her. 

"Funnily I feel the complete opposite" I blurt out, thinking about this morning. Bree and Sarah look at me expectantly. "It's like I can't get enough of Jace. I want to be around him all the time, sometimes I feel like he's my anchor. With my panic attacks, you know? That also scares the crap out of me, because what if we don't end up together after all?" I ramble, trying to put my emotions into words.

"Girl, I feel you. It's the same with me and Austin. And I never thought I'd feel that way about someone again, ever since..." she says, but stops herself. She takes a deep breath and I know right away that she's talking about the same thing that she was worried about three days ago, when she couldn't find her cardigan.