Clenching my eyes shut , I let a few fat teardrops roll down my cheeks. The blazing anger in his eyes , the accusations in them were too strong to bear. It literally hurt to look into his steel grey eyes that were now burning with hatred....hatred t...
"No, Evan, I can't do this. I am sorry. I can't." I stepped down and started walking out when I was suddenly yanked back by my arms.
"Brae, what is wrong with you? Why are you doing this?" He looked at me frustrated.
"Evan-" He cut me off.
"Okay, okay listen, if you're upset with me, tell me what have I done wrong, I will correct it. We can solve it baby. Please don't walk away." My heart lurched at causing him so much pain but I was helpless.
"No we can't Evan! It's over. " It was hard to keep my face composed when I wanted to sit down and beat my hands on the ground, releasing my frustrations.
"How can you say that Brae ? Nothing is over between us. It can't be." He furiously shook his head.
"It is Evan. It is." I struggled out of his grip and walked out . I heard his footsteps behind me and I was trying to escape. I was out of the church when he gripped my wrist, stopping me. I clenched my eyes shut , cursing him for making it even more difficult than it already was.
"Bella…" I inhaled sharply at that, memories flooding my mind.
"I don't like Bella." I whined as he sat in the grass and I lay on the ground with my head on his lap.
"But I like to call you Bella." He said tucking a loose hair behind my ear.
"Why?" I sat up to look at his face. He smiled at me and leaned forward.
"Because it suits you. Bella means beautiful and you're the most beautiful woman to me." He stared deep into my eyes, his eyes guaranteed the sincerity behind his words.
"Bella." I tasted the name on my lips , somewhat liking it a bit now.
"Bella." He repeated after me , kissing the top of my head.
My eyes were stinging with tears. From his voice I knew he was on the verge of crying. I was not strong enough to look at his face.
"I love you." It came out as a plea from his mouth. To hear the man I love so much so broken and dejected was piercing my heart but I couldn't get weak at this point.
"I don't." I never knew I could say that I didn't love him when he was my everything.
"You're lying, Bella." His grip on my wrist tightened.
"No I am not." I gritted through my teeth.
"Yes you are! Look into my eyes and say that you don't love me." I froze at that. How could I even lie facing him?
"Say it Bella, say that you don't love me. Look at me and say it." I took deep breaths. I had to do this. Turning back I looked right into his eyes and said it. The most dreadful words of my life.
"I. Don't. Love. You. Evan. Lewis." My heart constricted at the look on Evan's face. He had a look of pure shock, hurt and pain. His eyes glistened and he was trying hard to keep it in.
"Why?" The pain behind that single word shook me. I wanted to hold him in my arms and tell him how much I love him, that this wasn't true but I couldn't. My hands were tied. I didn't know the answer to his question. I desperately wanted to escape this nightmare and I spoke what I thought was right for him.
"I found someone else." The look of horror on his face was intolerable but I had to do this for him. I knew it hurt him a lot but this will help him move on in his life. His hold on my hand loosened.
"Someone e-else?" He gulped painfully.
"Yes and I love him." He clenched his jaws and fists, a look of rage overtook his features.
"You don't love me but you love him ? Why? Does he love you more than me ? Tell me, does he ?" He took a menacing step towards me.
"Does he consider you more important than himself? What does he have to give you that I don't?" He shouted the end part with angry tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Money." I spat. His angry expression changed in an instant into one of disbelief.
"What ?" He whispered, his voice barely audible.
"Money, Evan. Your business is in a poor condition and as bad it may sound, it is going to go further down at this rate. Money is important for a secured life and I want to live a peaceful, secured life Evan, one that he can provide. I can't spend my days in uncertainty." Evan looked devastated at my last sentence. I was inches away from breaking down in front of everyone but I kept reminding myself why I was doing all these.
"It's not true. It can't be true. You - You were never after money, Brae. This is not you speaking." I fisted my hands to keep my emotions in. 'For him. For Bri' I chanted in my mind.
"It's true Evan. " At that point, I didn't know myself. I didn't know that I could hurt him so much.
"Don't do this to me, Bella, don't do this." Faint whispers left his mouth. Before I would lose control over my emotions, I started running, never to turn back.
The cold air hit my face and the tears flowed down my cheeks freely. I kept running until I reached my car. I looked back to see him staring back with helplessness and desolation in his eyes, fat tears escaping his eyes.
"I love you E-Evan. I l-love you s-so m-much." I mumbled to myself before driving off to my house.
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