The Love I Lost

Chapter 38: Time After Time

"You know what, forget it, Alex." I said, exasperated. "Someone, please just put in a movie or—"

There was a knock at the door. I bit my lip nervously. I ran for the door when I saw Uncle Brian heading for it. No way was he going to get there before me! I thrust open the door. "Look, now's not the..." I stopped speaking. My eyes became large and my jaw clenched. "Step-mom..."

Meredith had a weary smile on her face. "Heya, Lizzy."

She always used to say heya to me. Then I'd say, 'heyoo' to her, usually with a wide grin and some kind of sticky substance all over my mouth and hands. Memories from when I was a little girl just started rushing through my mind, nauseating me. Years I'd planned on what to say when I saw her again; I'd cuss her out, chew her ass right up. But now, standing before me, I was speechless and I just wanted to run into her arms and have her hold me. I always knew I hated her, but I never realized how much I honestly missed her.

The moment was killed when I noticed the tall and skinny, blonde haired girl standing next to her, an awkward smile on her full lips. Her startling hazel eyes stared at me and, it seemed to me, she looked older than seventeen just in her eyes. If I didn't know how old she was, I'd guess that she was at least twenty.

It felt so weird, staring at this kid—my sister—who looked nothing like me and nothing like my mom, except for the eyes.

I took in a deep breath and did the bravest thing I think I have ever done. I smiled. Genuinely. "Hi. You must be Olivia."

She nodded shyly. "Yeah...you must be Elizabeth."

Yeah, Elizabeth, not Rachel. "Yeah...Oh. Here, come in. Um...I'll take your bag if you want?"

Olivia immediately clutched the bag tighter. Her knuckles loosened their hold, however as she nodded and handed the bag to me, which was surprisingly heavier than it looked. "Thanks..."

"No problem." Completely ignoring Meredith now, I said, "Oh, follow me. You'll be sleeping in my room."

Olivia blinked at me as we walked toward my bedroom. "Where will you sleep?"

"Couch city." I smiled. "And I don't have a girly bedspread, either." I opened the door, revealing the plain, silky indigo bedspread. "And the sheets and everything has just been washed, too..."

"Okay..."

I set Olivia's bag on my bed, a little awkwardly. "So...you live with Meredith, or..."

"I switch." Olivia said quietly. "But I live with my Mom, mostly..." She studied her hands for a long moment. Then she looked back up at me with those determined hazel eyes. "Our mom really wanted us to meet, you know..."

I tried keeping the resentment out of my tone when I said, "Yeah."

I must have done a convincing job, because Olivia said, "She's different than she used to be...That's what my Mom says. She left when I was four and then, when I was nine, she just wanted to talk...Be buds, I guess. I think it's cause her wife can't have kids."

Don't worry, she's probably got other kids scattered across the globe, I thought bitterly. "Oh...So, how long are you guys staying for?"

There was a soft rapping on my open door. I turned my head to see my step-mom. "Can I come in?" she asked.

I shrugged.

She took that as a yes and stepped in. Olivia, though, awkwardly ducked out of the room. I wished she'd stay. I wanted to talk to my sister...not my step-mom...

She sighed deeply, sitting on my bed. "Can we talk?"

A part of me wanted to cross my arms, say no, and stomp away. I sat at my desk chair, not saying anything.