The Dusk

Barbed-Wire Throat (Andie)

TW: TALK OF DEPRESSION, BAD MENTAL HEALTH

I felt really, really cold. And very perturbed, thank you very much. I sat up and looked around, seeing white everywhere. Thousands of towering coniferous trees covered in pure, white snow. For as far as I could see, where there weren't trees, there were mountains looming in the distance. My bag was strewn to my left, and farther in that direction was Drew, coming to the same realization that I was.

Ugh.

Drew.

If I wasn't in that situation with this clown, that place would be absolutely breathtaking. But of course, he was here.

"Okay, that was really unprecedented," Drew said, looking at me, the wind knocked out of him from landing on his back. A small smile curved up his mouth. Always a jokester.

But I ignored him. I don't have time for this.

"Andie, come on. Please stop ignoring me and tell me what's wrong."

I hastily gathered my things together, and searched for my SmartMask button, fumbling around on my neck. How embarrassing. I was trying to be cool and collected. I hit the mask button, and stats began loading in. I ignored most of them. I just wanted to be warm.

Temperature... BELOW FREEZING. ENGAGE THERMAL MEASURES IMMEDIATELY. SELECT... [CONTINUE] OR [OVERRIDE].

I selected YES and thermal measures began to kick in. My mission gloves began to thicken, and instead of gripping pads on the palm and fingers, snow gloves with extra waterproof covers replaced them. The rest of my suit began to grow layers, covering the most essential parts first (my torso) and then my limbs, giving me the appearance of a very stylish skier. My SmartMask stayed on, acting as a face shield as my neck and head were covered with a thinner layer of fabric under my helmet. My shoes became heavier, clunkier boots made for walking in thick powder for long periods of time, and I dropped my foldable skis on the ground. I finished dusting the snow off of myself and then glanced over at Drew, trying not to give him more than a few seconds of my precious time. I didn't want to be there any longer than I had to. Thankfully, he got the hint and transformed himself as well, his gray, black, and navy suit matching mine, as the blue represented the deep ocean. Gray and black are the standard colors that group us together (how unique) but there was a color unique to each pair, usually in muted, darker shades. Our goal isn't exactly to stand out, but we needed some way to differentiate the suits in the wash.

"Um, any idea where to go?" Drew asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"As if I know. I've been here as long as you. This is practically a barren wasteland," I said sharply. While it was clearly an exaggeration, as there was arguably beautiful nature around us, there were no signs of human life. Anywhere.

"Aw, come on, you didn't have to snap."

"Why do you care?"

He began to walk toward me, trying to be confident, light hearted, goofy. I could tell he was trying to cheer me up.

"Because I love you. And I want to fix this. So before we go anywhere, I need you to tell me what's wrong."

I tried to shoulder past him, but he gently and firmly grabbed me by the shoulders and placed myself right in front of him. Curse the fact that he's a whole foot and three inches taller.

"Now," Drew whispered.

I began to feel tears burning in my eyes before I even started to say anything. At this point, I had given up holding them in. The hot tears welled, and began to slide down my face.

"I don't want to be here anymore."

"Hey, neither do I, but the faster we-"

"No, Drew. I don't want to be in that stupid cave. I don't want to be in Indonesia in our stupid house, and I don't want to be with..." I trailed off, not wanting to say it at first. His concern became fear and worry, and I looked down at my feet and then back up at him. I couldn't hold my frustration any longer. "I don't want to be with you. Or the FBI. I'm breaking up with you and I don't want to be a member of this stupid team."