Can't Be Friends - Chrollo x Fem Reader

Can't Be Friends

The two of you had been spending more time together. It had been so long since he had fun with someone. He nearly forgot how he was at his best when he was around you.

In the back of his mind, he had the fear that this good time in your relationship was his actions or something of the sort.

He was right.

Chrollo had just lost for the third time in a row to a card game you had taught him.

"You're just not fast enough," you joked.

"I'll get it the next time."

The next round he won. You raised your suspicion.

"What? Can't accept a loss?" he boasted.

"Not when you cheat."

"I didn't," he laughed.

"How am I missing cards?"

"I don't know," Chrollo bit his lip, suppressing his giggles.

He tossed the cards he took from you. "Gotcha."

Jumping up, you began to chase him. "Chrollo!"

This was the hardest he had laughed in a while. At your attempt to tackle him, he picked you up, tossing you onto your couch. It was gentle enough to prevent damage to you and the couch, but the distance he threw you at was high and far enough to make you squeal.

As he backed up, you jumped on him. Wearing socks on a wooden floor, he slipped and fell. You landed on top of him.

"Are you okay?" you giggled.

"Yeah," Chrollo laughed.

There's that smile I've missed, you thought. You suddenly grew concious of his hands holding your waist. Both of you looked in the opposite direction for a split second and then met eyes. His pupils dialated slowly. Clearing his throat, his eyes shifted to your lips.

A part of you told you to get up, but your feelings succeeded. Your heart pounded against his chest.

Slowly, a smile formed on his face. You slowly moved up and down as his chest rose and fell.

You tested the situation by landing a quick peck on Chrollo's lips. After you had released the kiss, his eyes were still closed, so you returned to kissing him. His lips were soft. Your hands played with his hair while his grip on your waist grew firmer.

His eyebrows furrowed as he kissed you deeper. Copious thoughts ran through your mind. Chrollo was intoxicating. You never thought you would have the chance to kiss your best friend. It was as if his lips were made to kiss yours. If this was what you were waiting for your whole life, it was worth it.

A twinge of guilt began to arise in your conscience, as you knew that you two should not be together. At least not at the moment.

You let go.

Chrollo held your face, running his thumbs over your lips. "I love you."

"I'm glad you finally said it," you beamed. His hands still held your face. He waited for you to continue speaking, but your throat suddenly felt tight. This moment was close to perfect, and you were about to ruin it.

Reading your body language, Chrollo could instantly detect something was bothering you. His eyes rested on your face, trying to guess what you were going to say.

Tears began to form in your eyes. You felt that you should not be kissing the man who did not know himself - someone who still did things you wholeheartedly disagreed with.

Your hands, which were previously in Chrollo's hair, shifted to the floor beside him to get up. Chrollo felt your tears land on his face. He sat up as well.

"Are you okay?"

"Chrollo," you sighed. "I can't."

"What do you mean?"

You feared his reaction.

"I can't kiss you," you whispered, barely mustering the courage to speak to him.

His face backed a bit.

"I love you so much," you affirmed him. "You know that."

Chrollo's shoulders fell. He wanted to comfort you right now, but he also foresaw that he would need to be comforted as well. His feelings of joy, pure happiness had quickly segued into disappointment.

"There's a lot that we don't see the same on, and I don't want to have problems in the future."

Chrollo disagreed with you. At this point, he wanted to move past the differences. He was fairly patient but he wondered when this was going to end. But he did not want to argue with you, so he remained quiet.

"But I don't want you to change who you are for me. I'm pretty sure there's someone who would fall in love with you."

"How could you say that?" he challenged. In response, you moved off him. He stood up. "You can't kiss me and then tell me someone else is good for me."

He rubbed his face, letting out a deep sigh. "You're the only person I have ever wanted."

"Me too. That's why this has to be right," you suggested.

"If you wait for me to be your ideal person, we might not get to be together."

"I am not going to wait for you," you corrected him. "I will always be your friend. Waiting for you causes too much pressure and isn't fair for the both of us."

Chrollo clenched his jaw. This was something he never wanted to hear. He thought that after all these years, he would have you.

"I'll always be here," you said. "I just want you to know you're more than the Spider. I can't want to save lives while you end them," you sighed.

"I don't want to have to choose between you and the Spider."

"You don't," you shook your head. "I never said I would leave, Lolo."

Despite your promise to stay, it felt like you were leaving. With knowing you for nearly two decades, this was the first time he felt like he was going to get what he wanted. Kissing each other made him realize that. He knew he had your love, but that was not enough to progress in your relationship.

If he could just go back to that kiss and live in that for a while...

Chrollo stopped talking. He turned away for a second before giving you a small smile. A smile that indicated he had given up on his efforts. It was not like he could talk you into being with him.

And with that ingenuine smile, you saw a tear roll down Chrollo's cheek.