I'm Fine

Chapter 10

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'm trying to keep writing but I'm just not motivated sorry. But I will keep updating, it might just be slower. Again I'm sorry.

Ok so I didn't know how to continue writing about being in the hospital so it's been a week since they've left the hospital.

It's been a week since the hospital and all had been seemingly ok. Emily stays at Jj's in a guest bedroom and on the nights Will isn't home, which Emily really enjoys, she'll get to cuddle with Jj. She gets time with "her" special person.

They cuddle, switching being the big and little spoon throughout the night. Making sure to keep one another safe. On nights where it thunders and lightings, Jj will go into the guest room with Emily and wrap her arms around the brunette tightly, to help soothe her.

Will isn't too fond of Emily. He sees her as a nuisance. That she's just leeching off of them. But the truth is she's staying there just to have a stable life around her. And to keep her out of harming herself the best they can. Emily tries to get along with Will but it gets difficult, especially when he annoys her on purpose.

Emily loves staying at Jj's all except for having to see Jj and Will kiss/show any sort of affection to one another. When Will is around Emily will try her best to stay away from the couple, mostly by reading out on the back porch. She loves being outside, in a world that appears to be peaceful. With the birds singing and rustling of the leaves when the wind blows, for a moment she'll forget all of her worries. But it's only a moment.

Emily's Pov:

The bright red numbers of my alarm shine in the dark room. 𝟺:𝟶𝟶 the clock reads. Dammit I've stayed up all night again. The only decent sleep I get is when I'm with Jj. But now a days that's only once or twice a week because of that dick head Will.

I sit up in my bed, my knees pulled up to my chest, hugging tightly onto them.

"It's not fair" I whisper under my breathe, my words cutting through the air.

I can feel my blood boiling with the thought of that scumbag cuddling with Jj. He's not good enough for her. I'm not even good enough for her.

My jaw clenches, eyebrows lower, nostrils flaring as my rage grows within me. I can feel my irritation flowing throughout my body.

"It's not fucking fair" I scream into my pillow. Whipping it across the room after I finish my sentence. I scramble out of my bed and rip all of the sheets and pillows off of it. Letting them messily lay on the floor in a mountainous pile.

I run into my closet, hiding in the corner of it, trapping myself in darkness. My head is spinning, a whirlwind of thoughts crashing around in my brain.

You're not enough.
You don't deserve a life.
Your disgusting.
Jj hates you.
You're worthless.
What's wrong with you.
Psycho.
Just give up.
Faggot.

I rest my head in between my legs, letting my teardrops fall onto the hardwood floor. My legs lined with scars, I begin to trace them with my pointer finger.

One from a bullet.
Some from self harm.
Others from my abusive mother.

I try my best to cover them with concealer, but that only does so much.

The hideousness is still there.