Thoughts

Paranoia

 He pressed the blade to his soft ivory skin and sliced. Bakugo stared at the line as dark ruby blood bubbled to the surface from under his thin skin. Tears blurred his vision as he moved on to another spot leaving deep dark crimson lines in the blade's wake, lifting the blade for them to weep their iron tears. It stung a little but didn't really hurt.

You're being a wimp.

You hurt her more than a few petty scratches.

You're a disgrace.

"I am a disgrace." He sneered at himself as he went back over the cuts that he had left on his arm, digging the blade in deeper. He savored the sting as he pressed the blade in deep enough to hit something. Scarlet stained his arms and hand. The blade looked rusted when he was done. The pale alabaster skin on his arm was now stained and smeared the deep iron red of his blood. It dripped down the sides of his arms and onto the wooden floor of the room. Large droplets landed on his desk and floor, and he reached into the cubby for alcohol wipes.

He unwrapped the wipe and started cleaning off his arms. The gashes were deep. "Fuck." He hissed as he ran the wipe over the sliced areas. It stung more than the blade. He wiped his eyes and face with his shirt before grabbing medical bandages from the box. He wrapped them around his damaged arm and then grabbed constriction bandages. He wrapped them around his arms, palms, and fingers on both arms to hide the medical bandages. The fighting gear was never questioned by his classmates, even though they were in a safe doom. He grabbed some paper towels and wiped the blood off his desk and floor as well.

Safe from villains but not from their lying and hateful faces...

Says the liar, sooooo hypocritical. You living piece of shit, Bakugo.

He quietly walked to his closet and threw the stained wipes into the trashcan he hid in there. He grabbed a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants to change into before going down into the common room. "I should apologize..."

You can't do that. You're a bitch remember?

You have an act to keep up.

They'll hate you even more if you break it now.

Bakugo has been putting up the tough guy act since the start of year 3. He often used it to hide the fact that he was horrified of being disliked. Once he got into year 6, he was told by some people that he was a jerk and could never be a hero. It stuck with him enough that he started to shy away from hanging out with others. Then he got into UA. Everyone hated him. He knew they did.

Eijirou started sticking around Bakugo within a few days of school starting. The cheery redhead made him feel comfortable. He was warm and fun to be around. He'd only hugged Bakugo once or twice, but those times made him feel like nothing in the world could hurt him.

Probably because he noticed no one wanted to be around me. Pity "friend."

The comfort was fake.

Denki and Hanta were quick to follow Eiji's lead. Forcing themselves into the duo's space whenever they could. Denki was hilarious, and so was Hanta. They were a dynamic duo that almost always made Bakugo need to hide his smile.

Just because they want to be around Kiri, they hate me. Denki's even said it before. They aren't trying to make me laugh.

Even though Denki said it in a joke, Bakugo knew he meant it. Hanta followed Denki's lead in everything.

Mina was last but the fastest to try and gain Bakugo's friendship. She wasn't really scared of him the same way the other students were.

Because she knows you won't hurt her physically. Just emotionally, apparently.

She never put up with Bakugo's shit and called him out often.

God, I'm horrible.

Not like they're any better. They probably wouldn't be sad if I decided to blow up my own face.

Maybe I will. I bet death is better than whatever the fuck I've been living because it sure as hell ain't life.

I would want to go a way that's in character. Probably by my own quirk. Or maybe I'll just throw myself at Shigaraki the next time the League attacks. His quirk shouldn't be a painful way to die...

Bakugo didn't even realize that he was now in the common room, sulking on the couch.

How did I get down here? Walking, obviously.

He looked over at the staircase to see Eijirou and Denki racing each other down the stairs, Tenya behind them yelling at them to stop running down the stairs. "Oh, shut up, Engine boy. You're running too." Bakugo's voice obviously got through the taller male's head because he immediately shut up. Bakugo narrowed his eyes as Eiji ran over and sat next to him, pressing himself to the other and grabbing his arm. Denki ran over and looked as though he was going to tackle Eijirou.

"Katsuki, blow him up!!!" The two were laughing. Eijirou had Bakugos arm in his hands pointed at Denki's face like he was a gun or something. Tenya had gone into the kitchen, giving up on calming the Ketchup and Mustard duo down. Bakugo roughly pulled his arm away, trying not to show any pain as the cuts rubbed against the bandage material.

"No. Go the fuck away, or I'll blow up both your stupid faces." Denki and Eijirou kept giggling as the ladder moved away from Bakugo.

"Sounds good, dude."

They're fucking, LAUGHING at you. They stopped laughing at each other a while ago. You're a fucking joke, Bakugo. A joke to them and to everyone else.

He clicked his tongue a little, and he leaned his head onto his good arm. More of his classmates flooded into the room. Izuku and Shouto came down as a pair and immediately went into the kitchen. Hanta came down with his homework and plopped on the floor. Denki went over and joined him. Momo carefully made her way down with a bag in her hands as she went and sat over near Hanta.

They must be having a study session. Maybe I should join them. I can't remember what we learned today. No, then they'd think I'm even dumber.

Eijirou had moved back next to Bakugo."Were you able to finish your homework, Bakubro?" Bakugo rolled his eyes as he looked over at the glowing face of Eiji.

"Yeah. Of fucking course." Eijirou smiled at him.

"Can you help me with mine then?" Bakugo groaned. He would just have to figure out the materials along the way.

"Fine, shitty hair." He stood up and made his way to his room, Eijirou close behind him.

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It's yo' dumbass author here! Just wanna add that Bakugo calls the class by their first names because I want to show how he really does like them but is just super paranoid, also why he doesn't refer to himself as Katsuki. Also sorry for the short chapter, I'm really not good at writing long ones so I write short detailed chapters.