All I Want (Capture Series 1)

Sixteen

"Here's my bed. I'll change the cover to denim blue, maybe next week? Kapag nakapagshop na ako."

Alli was giving me a room tour while I'm sitting on my study table. Wala akong ibang tab na binuksan maliban sa call namin. Nakafocus lang ako sa mga sinasabi niya. I miss her already.

"You can find one online." suggest ko.

She rolled her eyes. "No, thanks. Baka sira pa yung ideliver sa akin. Mas okay na ako mismo ang bibili sa shop."

I smiled. Alli and her trust issues.

"I'll visit there sa summer." I suddenly said.

She stopped moving the camera around at tinapat iyon sa kanya.

"Paano yung sa plantation?"

"Pwede naman akong umabsent kahit ilang Saturdays lang. They can continue without me." I answered.

"You can bring Theo, if you want. Baka maligaw ka." she chuckled.

"I'll ask him, kung hindi siya busy."

She laughed. "Oli, that was a test. My gosh!"

Napakunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. "Ha?"

"Pwede mo naman siyang hindi isama. May bodyguards ka naman kaya hindi ka maliligaw. Hello?" she raised her eyebrows. "Well, I'm glad gusto mo siya kasama."

Napa-iling ako sa kaniya. I sighed heavily.

"Alli, I have to tell you something." I said.

Bigla siyang sumeryoso. "What? Is there something wrong?"

"Wrong? With me? I think so?"

"With you? There are a lot of wrong things with you. Which one?" she joked kaya natawa ako.

"Seriously, though. I declined Kai's call last time." I said in a small voice.

"So?" taas-kilay niyang tanong.

"Anong so? That's the first time. I never declined his call, ever. You know how much I love him. Then, this passed few days I just felt like..." I shrugged.

"You think you don't love him anymore then gusto mo na si Theo?" she directly said.

"No! Of course...not." I said with doubt. "I like Theo as a friend. It's just that, my brain is telling me that I love Kai but I can't feel it anymore. Maybe because of lack of his presence? Last na kita ko sa kaniya noong practice pa namin for my debut."

"If presence is the foundation of your relationship, then I don't think it is love." she seriously said.

Napatahimik ako sa sinabi niya. I let that sink in. It can't be. Kai loves me and I love him. I know that. I felt that. I blinked fast.

"Kayo? Kumusta?" pag-iiba ko ng topic.

She swallowed then looked at her side.

"Oli, I need to go. May inutos pa pala sa akin si Mommy." she said then waved her hand.

"Okay. Take care. Call me anytime." I said then waved back.

She ended the call kaya black screen na lang ang nasa harap ko. I sighed. I checked my phone and saw my last text to Kai.

To: Kai
I'm sorry. I didn't answer your call. What is it?

I texted that kinabukasan after noong dinecline ko tawag niya. Naguilty kasi ako sa ginawa ko. Baka may kailangan siyang sabihin sa akin or yun lang yung free time niya tapos ako pa tinawagan niya tapos pinatayan ko pa. He never contacted me again. It only takes one decline for him to stop.