I've always been the one to push people away, never the one to get pushed away. I've gotten so good at it that i never thought it could happen to me and i thought i would push them away before they could push me away. But Dylans different.
I didn't push him away. I never tried. I let him in. I let him know my past and everything bad about me and all the good. I trusted him and he trusted me. I didn't think anything drastic would change and if we ever broke up we would still be friends but this is a new feeling.
Being pushed away...
He said he left me so i wouldn't go through the emotional drama and state that comes with him being in the Marines, but i am. No matter how much he wishes i am not. He told me to find some person that might treat me like he would because he doesn't know if he will make it back. But i don't want just some guy. I want him. Not because he's a Marine. I could care less about that. I want him because i love him.
He's the first person i haven't pushed away and now he's pushing me away. I don't know how to react.
Should i take his advice and find someone else? But if i find someone else it wouldn't be fair to them because all i think about is him.
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Should i just forget about him? Should i move on? Or should i follow my heart and hold on? Should i wait for him?
Sorry for the short update ive been sick for a week now and been out of school for one day and dismissed once. Ive been trying to go to school as long as possible because we can only be absent so many days before we fail the whole trimester. Hopefully the next update will be longer
Thank you for reading.
Love you all.
