Fuck It List

05: fvck me list

Y'all are getting the backstory, don't worry xx

And no, this story won't be angst, just wait a little longer :)

"A list? You got a list?", you asked chuckling in disbelief, "what would you put on a list like that? You've literally done anything."

"Don't underestimate the things one can try out", he remarked with an impish smile returning on his lips, "I've got a list. I thought about it after yours was almost completed."

"You already have one?", you asked surprised, "not that I'm considering to help you. I'm just curious."

"Yea, sure", he said laughing, "I bet if you see it you want to do it. But I don't have it yet. I haven't written it down."

"I'm not going to do it", you said shrugging.

"Just one summer", he kept trying to convince you, "give us this semester break. Let's get to know each other again and try to start over."

Starting over? Is that what you wanted? A new relationship? Or just wounds to heal?

"You have the choice. Come to my place tomorrow if you decide to do it", he said, "you'll like my apartment. And if you don't come, I'll move on and leave you alone."

These words hurt. In the one sentence he talks about how you'd like his apartment and in the next he talks about ending whatever you had. For good.

Only the thought of it... it was clear that you didn't want it to end. But a list wasn't the right way to fix it either.

"I'll see", you sighed letting your shoulders hang.

Maybe spending time with him gives you a chance to sort it out with him. Talk to him. Apologise. And maybe make up.

"I'll text you the time and address", he said glancing at you for a second too long.

As if he considered kissing you again. Or hugging you. But he didn't. He just nodded and turned to go.

"I'll see you tomorrow", he said confidently and convinced that you'd show up.

Then he opened the door and left. Left you alone with a raging storm of questions, doubts and cravings inside your mind. 

You had a lot to think about. It wasn't an easy decision.

But actually it was. Your heart has already decided.

Twenty four hours later you walked up to the building in which Jungkook's apartment was in.

You couldn't tell why but you were actually nervous. Your heart was beating fast and your thoughts were spinning going through every possible scenario.

You never were nervous around Jungkook. Only this showed how much has changed between you.

When you were best friends and later a couple he was your place of comfort. And now... everything was hanging by a thread.

At least there was a thread. After you left to study abroad you already thought everything was lost. But maybe there was a chance. At tiny chance, a small spark of hope that you could have a future.

You rang the doorbell with a sigh and the door opened with a buzz. You went upstairs to the second floor and were greeted by a grinning Jungkook.

He was leaning in the doorway of the apartment at the end of the corridor to your right. He wore grey sweatpants, a wide black shirt and his black, quite long grown hair was ruffled messily.

It gave off the impression that he was very relaxed and comfy with the situation. Smiling at you and flirting with you as if nothing ever happened.

"Hi babe", he greeted you with a cheeky wink but when you only glared at him in response he cleared his throat and corrected himself, "sorry, Y/N. Come on in. I'll show you around."

He opened the door wider to let you pass. You entered and your jaw dropped to the floor. The apartment was gorgeous.

It was spacious, bright and modern, yet very cozy and charming. The furniture was kept in shades of white and grey complemented by spots of the colours green and yellow like the pillows on the couch or the flower pots on the sill of the big windows.

The floor was parqueted with bright wood going along very well with the style of the rest of the interior design.

The only thing that was missing was the personal note like pictures on the wall or frames on the commode in the hallway.

"Do you like it?", he asked walking up to you and stood right beside you, a bit too close.

"Yes, I do", you admitted but took a step away by him to not get distracted by his alluring scent. A scent that smelled like home, one that reminded you of home.

"There's actually enough space for two, you know", he said casually as if it didn't mean anything.

But it made your heart skip a beat. He was serious. He really was. He just offered you to move in with him.

"You're crazy", you muttered following him into the kitchen.

"Yeah I know, you mentioned that a few times already", he said chuckling and sat down at a table. It was made of the same wood as the parquet floor. The kitchen was just as great as the rest.

But here was also missing the personal note, like the small pictures which captured beautiful moments and were then hung up on the fridge with a magnet.

You sat down opposite of him and peeked at the paper lying in front of him. You could see a list on it but couldn't yet read what the points were since it was upside down.

But his list was definitely shorter than yours. But there were still quite a few items to tick off.

"This is my list", he said placing his hand on it and glanced at it before he looked back into your eyes, "I think it could help us grow closer, have some fun like we used to. If you're willing to, of course."

"I, for my part, am going to try every possible thing to make you my wife this time", he declared.

Another wild list... :)