The Lollipop Project [Gen L Society #1]

Chapter 18

Preparing myself, I answered the call, but instead of a man's voice, it was a woman's that I couldn't recognize. "Hello, am I speaking to Konstantia Fernandez?"

The voice of the woman sounded rushed, soft but still audible despite the noises on the background."Yes, sino po 'to?"

"Miss Fernandez, nasa ospital ang tatay mo ngayon."

Those words briefly blanked my mind as I tried to hold on to the fact that everything was all right. My dad was all right. "O-opo. Baka naka-duty pa siya-"

"Miss Fernandez, naaksidente ang tatay mo at kritikal ang kondisyon niya ngayon."

It must have been the cold freezing my temples because I suddenly felt dizzy, unable to hear anything going on around me.

#

"Ko..."

I squeezed the hand of the guy next to me as I looked at the familiar old man lying on the bed. His eyes were the same shade of brown as I remembered them to be, but this time, they glinted lighter under the fluorescent lights. He was wide awake, but at the same time, he was not.

Hindi ko alam kung sumikat na ba ang araw. It was hard to tell from inside the room. Nakasarado lahat ng kurtina sa loob ng kwarto. Pakiramdam ko tuloy nasa selda kami.

It felt like I had been standing there for days, when in fact, ilang oras pa lang ang nakakalipas simula nang makarating kami dito. Every inch of my body quivered from the cold despite the hoodie over me. I couldn't move.

"Leeen..."

The old man's voice made me flinch. Alam kong may gusto siyang sabihin sa akin, but his words were scattered. His mouth twitched on one side, cheek constantly shrinking his eye.

Gusto kong hawakan ang mukha niya at balutin siya ng mga kamay ko. But all I could do was stare at him... hopelessly.

"Pa..." I finally hushed, defying my weakness as I reached out to his hand. An instant guilt crawled up to me, realizing how cold and stiff his hand was.

Napasinghap ako at nabitawan ko ang kamay ni papa. Naramdaman ko ang kamay ni Jalen sa may likuran ko kaya napasandal ako sa kanya.

"An...ak..."

"Papa, nandito lang ako." I stretched my lips in a thin line, pretending I was fine when deep inside, I was being shred into pieces. Hindi ko ma-explain kung gaano kasakit ang puso ko ngayon. Parang nadudurog nang paulit-ulit at wala akong magawa.

"I..."

"Pa, okay lang. Magpagaling po kayo. Gagaling rin po kayo." I didn't mean to raise my voice a notch higher than usual, but right now, I couldn't help but blame myself.

Kasalanan ko ang lahat ng ito. Dahil selfish ako. Sarili ko lang ang iniisip ko kaya pati ang tanging tao na nagmamahal sa akin ay kinukuha sa akin. Parusa ito ng Diyos sa akin.

Wala rin akong kaalam-alam na ilang beses nang nagkaroon ng mini heart attacks si papa. Hindi niya ito sinabi sa akin. Alam kong ayaw lang niyang mag-alala ako sa kanya kaya mas lalo pa akong nagalit sa sarili ko dahil hindi ko man lang ito napansin.

Puro kapakanan ko lang ang iniisip ni papa. Wala akong karapatan para magalit sa kanya. Tinago lang niya ang kondisyon niya pati na ang kalagayan ni mama para hindi ako mag-alala.

All along, I was consumed by my anger with my mother that I never realized what was going on.

"I love you so much, pa." Bending over, I planted a kiss on top of his head and noticed a tear escaping from his eye.