SCRIPTURIENT REVIEWS | OPEN

❄ THE GUARDIAN'S GIFT | CRAZY ❄

In addition, by elaborating a little, readers now have something to relate to. She seems more human to us now that we know how long and how difficult her life has been. Now that we know a little bit of what kind of person she is.

If you notice, I didn't elaborate on Seokjin as much since in the story, we're introduced to Jisoo first and she introduces us to Seokjin.

As for the next part, the moment of change, I'd advise that you tie back in a few things we've learned about Jisoo in the character introduction. Just one or two small things that relate to something you bring up, like that her hard work has been protecting Seokjin or that she's fascinated by humans when you bring up that she'll be human for a day. This will serve to connect this part of the blurb to the rest, making the whole blurb run a little more smoothly.

As for the stakes, I like them, and how you end with a question. Just maybe add the alternative to your question. Such as: "Will Jisoo be able to go back into Heaven before her doubts lead her to do something unforgivable?"

Basically, add details to tell us a little more about who Jisoo is when she starts out and streamline the blurb by reducing the extra hook and smoothing out transitions.

Plot/Flow: 7/20

To be entirely honest, your plot confused me and your story flow seemed a little like a stagnant pond, especially in the beginning. Stuff happens in your story without build up or follow through. People or things get mentioned in your story that prove to be irrelevant.

Tips:

The death of a man in the beginning. Kyungsoo's forced transformation to human. Kyungsoo himself. I thought they'd end up a lot more relevant to the storyline then they did. As it stands, I think those moments can be cut out without changing anything.

Try to make moments relevant. Interactions is the best way to do it, but I'll explain this further in a later section. You should try to include concrete ties of people and events to the plot and, more importantly, to the main character.

In fact, more interactions with your main character, Jisoo, will help fix a lot of your flow problems. Contemplation has its place, but it is important to balance revelations with action. Your problems stem from too much of the first, especially in the beginning chapter, where you want action to pull in the readers.

As for the confusion, that mainly stems from the whole thing with Ilhoon.

The plot twist there was amazing, but I would have liked a little more explanation of why God changed the timelines, at the very least at the story's wrap up, as well as why Jisoo was the one to fight Ilhoon.

In fact, any sort of conclusion to Jisoo's assignment against Ilhoon would be very much appreciated.

Any questions you open in a story should either be resolved, reflected on and left open for a sequel, or reflected on and the uncertainty accepted by the characters. It's important to do this so that readers feel satisfied with the ending. Open questions and plotlines leave the story feeling incomplete and tacky.

Let me explain the three options I've mentioned.

Simple resolution is best for a single book or a final book, because it is the most satisfying option.

Reflecting on an issue without entirely solving it should be for some of the questions and issues in a series. This is to maintain curiosity for the next book.

Leaving a question open-ended with reflection and acceptance is best for certain themes. It's more about what you want to say. Leaving a book like this says, 'there's a lot of unanswered questions, but that's okay'. Sort of melancholic and resilient vibes at the same time. Definitely include reflection though, so that readers know that this open-ended issue/question isn't you forgetting an aspect of the story.