4: A WHOLE QUEER WORLD (JASON)

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Photo above - JEANNIE

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Photo above - JEANNIE

"Whaddaya mean?" I snapped back at Strike. I couldn't believe he'd said that. He was standing there looking at me with a knowing grin, like he knew more about me than I did myself. "What the hell can I learn from a magazine like this?"

He shrugged and walked into the office, carrying a large plastic bag. "Maybe your future?  You look like those dudes. Every bit as handsome and built. You can go out to California and join them. Become a muscle hunk."

"I ain't no queer," I said in my toughest jock voice, outraged at the idea of him saying that. "I'll be playing football in the future. At Ohio State and the NFL. Sure as hell not posing naked."

Strike set the bag down on his already cluttered desk and chuckled. "Those are mighty big plans, Jason. But life has a way of sending us off in completely different directions sometimes. I hope you don't get waylaid."

I tossed the magazine down on top of the others on the chair. "I don't intend to. Why the fuck  would I?"

Strike pulled two packs of printer paper out of the bag and tore the plastic wrapping off of one. "Don't play dumb with me, boy. I see you and Johnny around town. I watch you two on the football field. You might as well be making out the way you boys make those plays. I know what's going on with you two. You may fool a lot of people but you're not gonna fool somebody in the know."

What the hell? His reply caused my face to harden and I was ready to fire back an angry retort. But something silenced me, common sense maybe. It's not that I had a whole lot of it, but this hot-as-fuck adult man was pretty much telling me he was queer and that he figured me and Johnny were too. I couldn't help but wonder why.

"What do you care?" I asked, my hands balling into fists. "What's in it for you?"

He took a wad of the paper from the pack and set it in the tray of the printer on the desk. Then he looked at me. "I've been around, Jason. I know the score. I know how the story goes. You might need a friend somewhere soon down the road, and here I am."

I watched him as he sat down at his computer, wondering if that was all he had in mind – friendship. I loosened my fists, wiggled my fingers. "We're already friends. We've been friends for years."

His computer had sprung to life and he accessed an account file and began typing. "Right. All the more reason. This isn't New York or Hollywood or San Francisco. You'll be needing somebody to confide in someday soon. Somebody who understands."

He was so damn sure of himself and it really bugged me. What the fuck? Johnny and I didn't go around with billboards around our necks advertising we were queer. I really had to force myself to simmer down. Again, that common sense told me he was right. If the high school cheerleaders were guessing at it, somebody in the know like him would most likely be sure to see it.

I fidgeted it in the chair as he made out the bill. I was trembling again. I suddenly felt like I had to talk about it or I'd explode. It was like I fucking wanted to cry. "We've never done anything, me and Johnny," I said, my voice shaky. "Really. Nothing."

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