Outsider Syndrome: Everlasting (Bonus Content)

Chapter 2 - "Heat of Desire"

I hugged my knees closer to my chest.

Ups and downs, huh?

Was this and that related?

I didn't doubt Banri's love. I loved him, too.

Was it a fundamental problem, then?

Was I not good-looking enough? He interacted with attractive people all the time. Individuals way out of my league—that a tomboy like me could never hope to compare to.

If Banri caught wind of these thoughts, he'd scold me vehemently. But, I wasn't a model. I didn't wear make-up, didn't get my hair or nails all done up, neglected skincare routines more times than I'd like to admit. Before interacting with Banri, my wardrobe consisted of dark colours and lazy alternatives. In that regard, Banri, a boy who engaged in all things 'beauty', was more feminine than me. He rocked the colour pink better than I ever could.

Should I put more effort into my appearance? If I did, would he be into me more? Enough to be all over me?

He was already into me a ton, yet I here I was, yearning for more. What a conceited girlfriend I was.

"Kisa!"

Banri's shout jolted me to the core. I jerked up in time to spot him dash across the room. Upon arriving, he clasped his palms together in apology.

"Sorry! I'm running behind schedule."

Stumbling to my feet, I said, "Is everything all right?"

"Nothing for my goddess to worry about." He flashed a heart-stopping smile. "We have to go over a few more things, then I'll be able to return to your side. Can you wait for me a while longer?"

When he said things like that—looked at me so affectionately—all these egocentric thoughts and uncertainties vanished.

The heat that blossomed in its stead burned my skin.

"O-okay," I replied, fidgeting. "But. . ."

Why was I waiting for him to make the first move? Continuously feeling uneasy, when my love for him threatened to burst every waking minute. It wasn't like me to be a coward. I could do it. Silence these foolish ideas here and now.

"What's the matter, Kisa?" I barely heard him over my hammering heartbeat. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? Is there anything I can get you?"

I bumbled forward; promptly closed the distance between us. Clutching the lapel of his blazer, and irregardless of my obvious blush, I stared deeply into his vibrant pink eyes.

". . .A kiss."

Banri didn't move. He stared at me, unblinking, face flaring a cardinal red. His uneven breathing stirred the tiny hairs on my neck, sending shivers through every inch of my body. I said it. He couldn't play ignorant. I peeked at his flushed lips, a heat of desire burning within me. His fingers twitched at the base of my back, too close for comfort but not entirely grazing. I glanced upward one more time for good measure. I'd never been this close. Each contour of his charming face I memorized anew in this suspended moment. Pressing my eyelids shut, I pushed myself higher, onto my tippy-toes.

Inches short of our lips melting together, he shoved me back by the shoulders.

It took me a hot second to come to my senses. His hold on me trembled, and his gaze darted up, down, left, right—anywhere but me. His distress was glaring.

My heart broke into pieces.

"Banri, is there a specific way you wanted this?"

A girl—one of the models—interposed. By her sheepish demeanour, I'd wager she witnessed it all.

"U. . .uh!" he said, releasing me and rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants. "Y-yes! One sec!"

He scampered off to join her.

It's because you're in public—were too forward, my subconscious reasoned, not that it lessened the heartbreak.

My throat thickened.

He couldn't have made it more obvious.

"Kisaragi. Were you here the whole time? Waiting on Banri?"

I pivoted to address the boy who'd entered the gym. "Upperclassman Miyake."

The manager of the BB sighed. "I'm no longer your 'upperclassman' since I graduated last year, remember? Drop the formalities." His eyebrows knitted together. "Are you. . ."

"Yeah. Yeah, fine," I said, praying my voice wasn't as choked as it felt. I scurried past him and outside. "Tell Banri to head home without me. I—I remembered, I have band stuff to get done."